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  1. Bow before me
  2. Onward, TO GLORY!
  3. Rebel Alliance
  4. Newsbot needs to go down.
  5. Guys, this shit is annoying
  6. Which side are you?
  7. Organization
  8. Hey
  9. thnx for the text message, captain diabetes!
  10. should whuh's Spam Fortress be brought here?
  11. Ranks
  12. [Obvious] Yet another bus driver relieves boredom of interstate trips by channeling Walter Mitta. Oh look, he's a fighter pilot trying to shake off bogeys with 360º rolls and ... that turned out badly
  13. hey guys
  14. [Unlikely] Mickey Mouse, Spongebob, and the Tasmanian Devil are now appearing on fruit and vegetable packages nationwide in an attempt to have children eat healthier. Article "forgets" to mention that those characters also sponsor Pop-Tarts
  15. [Cool] Coolest picture of the moon you'll see... well, ever
  16. [Interesting] Why people are drawn to 9/11 conspiracy theories
  17. well
  18. [Scary] Dihydrogen monoxide, a compound used in millions of food and dairy products, is responsible for millions of deaths every year--and the EPA does nothing about it
  19. [Interesting] Suze Orman lists the top five money mistakes that men make. Giving her a credit card strangely missing from list
  20. [Dumbass] 50 Most Bizarre Street Signs
  21. [Sad] Think you've got a crappy job? Worker found at bottom of sewage tank
  22. Lazer
  23. Kill the goddamned BAWTS.
  24. Roflcopter!
  25. Company of Heroes Demo
  26. [Strange] Forget the hurricanes, bales of hay are spontaneously combusting in Michigan. EVERYBODY PANIC
  27. [Cool] Jeff Minter making Tempest 2000-3000 sequel called Space Giraffe for Xbox 360
  28. [Development] Newsbot is a HERMAPHRODITE
  29. [Amusing] I-Mockery's newest flash game makes gardening an adventure
  30. [Cool] It took 10 months, 200 people, some wooden nickles and a few cans of beans, but ton sarnit if there aren't 700 drawings of hobos
  31. [Hero] Trailer park, which sits less than a mile from Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue stores, and is surrounded by half-million dollar homes, wins court battle to exist. Suck it, teeth-owners
  32. Obscenity
  33. [NOTICE] Judgement Day!!
  34. Groups
  35. MY solution
  36. What have i started
  37. You! Invaders!
  38. [Poll] So, What the fuck?
  39. Poor Guy
  40. Squad 1 Home-Thread
  41. Squad 3 Hizome THrized
  42. Ps3
  43. Take the legs out to win!
  44. So I'm finally moving out...
  45. UN Newsbot Inspectors
  46. Yeah so.
  47. So.....cold.
  48. "Rise Against the Machines" create new song calling for an end to Newsbot.
  49. IMPORTANT DEVELOPMENT caps
  50. 99.99999% of women suck at driving
  51. we need a new sig
  52. Ben Stiller takes night shift museum guard job.
  53. This is getting olde...
  54. A Loyalists Prayer...
  55. Bf2
  56. Need Rep
  57. So wait? WTF?
  58. I'm taking a vacation...
  59. lonelygirl15
  60. Peace in Our Time
  61. Mexico's next president urges unity
  62. Israel to lift blockade of Lebanon
  63. Last-ditch Iran nuke talks delayed
  64. Taliban making inroads in key Afghan province
  65. Kidnap girl 'thought only of escape'
  66. Bali death sentences: Clemency call
  67. [Interesting] Geek Fight: Will Windows Vista fark up the Internets?
  68. [Interesting] Scientists identify methane as newest global climate threat, and yes, they were looking at you when they said it, Tooty McTooter
  69. [Unlikely] New study suggests that some online games may enhance sociability. Still no connection between parent's basements and increased virility
  70. [Unlikely] I saw a CD stand, heard a broadband, I saw an LED that winked its eye. But I think I will have seen everything, before I see this "flying car" fly. Deposits now being taken
  71. [Amusing] British scientists fuming after premier science festival includes man demostrating telepathy and another claiming proof of life after death
  72. [Obvious] Students protest as Facebook.com upgrades to StalkerNet 2.0, then resume looking for nude pictures of the hot girl at last night's party
  73. [Interesting] New underground trigger for volcano eruption found. Strangely enough, it starts with "Do I look fat it this?"
  74. [Interesting] Librovision allows you to "leaf through a virtual book, enlarge details or shift them about on the display surface by using simple hand motions and without physically touching the computer"
  75. [Interesting] New solution in Italy to fight high gas prices: wine drinking cars
  76. [Cool] AMD rolls out new dual-core desktop Athlons. That's 2.6 GHz of sweet sweet Intel-crushing power, baby
  77. [Stupid] Facebook offers new "feature" which shows you every change any of your friends make. Luckily there are no online stalkers waiting to take advantage of something like this, otherwise it'd be incredibly farking stupid
  78. [Interesting] Ngage 2 announced
  79. [Dumbass] Hewlett-Packard under investigation for media leaks
  80. [Cool] Experts discover chimps have the ability to safely cross roads. Involves alpha males being able to construct crude orange vests, stop signs from feces
  81. [Cool] Roger Smith makes Tesla coils, he makes big Tesla coils, and he likes to talk about them at length before FINALLY turning them on
  82. [Amusing] Verb Conjugation [to be] now property of Microsoft
  83. [Interesting] New research suggests Linus' brain was hardwired to carry around his blanket. No word yet on being a blockhead
  84. [Interesting] City birds less stressed out than country birds, dude
  85. [Hero] William Shatner refuses Virgin Galactic's offer of a seat on their first passenger flight because "I’m interested in man’s march into the unknown but to vomit in space is not my idea of a good time"
  86. [Unlikely] Iran cures AIDS. Is there nothing they can't do? Or, more likely, is there anything they can do?
  87. [Obvious] British researchers discover something that's been known for decades: Mice don't like cheese
  88. [Interesting] Stephen Hawking looking for assistant: "Flexibility, stamina and a confident and caring personality, together with ability to change tyres, are essential for this demanding job"
  89. [Scary] Potomac "intersex" fish worry scientists, who've apparently never been to Key West during FantasyFest
  90. [Cool] Ohio Linux geeks to throw huge blowout with naked penguins and beer. OSU football team not allowed to attend
  91. [Unlikely] The woman that took more than 100 hours to implement Adsense is now adding to her suit that Google deleted her emails and destroyed her evidence
  92. [Spiffy] Forget OpenOffice vs. Word -- the latest word processors for PC and Mac are truly old school and free
  93. [Hero] Why high-def TV vorks: Watching (and hoping) Scarlett Johansson will spill out of her cocktail dress while laughing to Leno (now that's content)
  94. [Interesting] Google acquires newspaper archive from 1700s. Ye 'olde Farkers rejoice with flamewars on the incompent leadership of President George (Washington)
  95. [Cool] FDA approves first implantable artificial heart. With a battery life of up to one hour. What could possibly go wrong?
  96. [Interesting] Sony's European PS3 delay: the implications for gamers, publishers and Blu-ray
  97. [Sick] If you're overweight, it's twice as likely that you're blind. It's also twice as likely that everyone around you wishes they were blind
  98. [Obvious] Space Shuttle that was supposed to launch, then moved halfway back due to Ernesto, then brought back out, then postponed, then supposed to launch, postponed again due to bad fuel cell
  99. [Stupid] Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate will cost $399, but don't worry: that version is only for people who want to do both games AND office work on their computer
  100. [Unlikely] Scientist has conclusively proven that the person that you were thinking about when she called you on the telephone really did read your mind
  101. [Scary] If your husband has gambling debts do you 1) try to help him, 2) divorce him or 3) have him killed, barbequed and fed to tigers? The fact that you're reading this on Fark should tell you that in Thailand, they do things their way
  102. [Ironic] "Police hope to expose serial flasher"
  103. [Dumbass] Diving out the front window to escape the cops only works in the movies. IRL it makes you look like a stupid jackass
  104. [Unlikely] Nova Scotia air show drops A-10 Warthogs from show on fears the pilots may strafe the crowd
  105. [Stupid] This just in: Stingrays are not a problem in Delaware
  106. [Amusing] Scots baffled by sign on building site reading, "Ymddirheurwn am unrhyw anghyfleustra a achosir yn ystod gwaith adnewyddu" especially as some of them hadn't started drinking yet
  107. [Obvious] Witch doctors in Zimbabwe given permission to grant people sick days that employers have to accept. Too bad nobody in Zim has a job any more, or this would mean something
  108. [Dumbass] Accused MySpace rapist's attorney claims Constitutional procreation rights, regardless of victim's age. Austin Farkers seen lining up to kick lawyer's planet-sized balls
  109. [Dumbass] Oregon man returns to woman's house to apologize for raping her back in March. Jailarity ensues
  110. [AudioEdit] AudioEdit this hilarious preacher dude into a most excellent dance mix
  111. [Strange] "Police said Gaetan Roy had just lost his job, so he came up with a plan: Rob a bank, hang around, then get taken to jail to be 'supported.'" Well, it kinda worked
  112. [Amusing] Guy wins £10,000 unjustified dismissal award after being fired for taking time off to mourn his dog, which wanted a wake
  113. [Obvious] CDC releases their annual September "Well have plenty of flu shots available this year" report. Begins work on draft of annual November "We will have a shortage of flu shots this year because " report
  114. [Florida] Farker's local TV news affiliate's online poll: "Do you have confidence in Palm Beach County's voting system?" Results at 11:00 PM EST. Please vote accordingly
  115. [NewsFlash] Former Illinois Governor gets 6.5 years in PMITA prison for racketeering. Will hopefully die there. In a fire
  116. [Followup] Lone survivor of Lexington plane crash's first words were "Why did God do this to me?" disappointing those who picked, "What the hell was THAT?" in the pool
  117. [Interesting] GM to entice new customers by proving that substandard cars sold at heavy discounts might actually last more than three years
  118. [Weird] Fox News reporter gets beaten by real estate scammer (w/ video goodness)
  119. [Spiffy] Uncontrollable 6-year old removed from flight, hopefully precedent extends to restaurants
  120. [Obvious] Nepalese midget denied world record by Guinness for shortest man. If only this story had a pirate or goat involved
  121. [Amusing] Another sign the apocalypse is near: The Gwen Stefani fashion dolls
  122. [Video] The horror of nuclear war as filtered through the horror of 80s music videos, including Europe's "The Final Countdown"
  123. [Dumbass] If you're going to take advantage of Houston's new "no-chase" policy, make sure that: 1) The policy is still in effect, and 2) you're actually running from Houston PD
  124. [Dumbass] Speeding driver blames Canada for lack of Goats
  125. [Spiffy] Dan Rather donates $2 million to alma mater, Sam Houston State University, leading administrators to question authenticity of two-million-dollar bill
  126. [Photoshop] Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cards
  127. [Strange] Woman doesn't tell authorities her father died on Amtrack because she wanted to avoid the cost of shipping his body home
  128. [Cool] REMINDER: Today is the last day to book your room for the Boston Fark Party at the group rate. LGT reservation page
  129. [Interesting] Man confesses to 19 year old murder at Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Kudos to him for a thorough step 8. Step 9: 10 years to life
  130. [Obvious] Taser victim had taken a lot of cocaine, says pathologist. It's a helluva drug
  131. [Unlikely] Father of Ron Goldman asks court to give him publicity rights to name, image and likeness of O.J. Simpson. Hey, remember Ron Goldman?
  132. [Dumbass] Limo to strip club: $120. Seventy minutes with a stripper named Chastity: $960. Having a heart attack to avoid paying her: Priceless
  133. [Caption] What's the baby trying to tell them? (Voting enabled)
  134. [Dumbass] Grandma tasered after: A) Leaving the scene of an accident? B) Attempting to elude officers? C) Resisting arrest? D) Driving away after one-year-old granddaughter fell out of the car? E) All of the above? (With pic goodness)
  135. [Survey] The Canadian Mint is holding a contest to name the bear on the $2.00 coin, but their choices are lame. Let's see some write-in votes
  136. [Obvious] Heineken sees 26 percent rise in profit due to World Cup sales, thirsty Kentuckian with sharply receding hairline
  137. [Asinine] DMV decides Corvair owner can't have an "F Nader" license plate. Freedom of speech, unsafe at any speed
  138. [Hero] America's first convicted felony spammer may finally be on his way to prison
  139. [Strange] Woman takes pleasant stroll down street with children in chains. "Link submission thingee" surrenders
  140. [Amusing] Check out Pope Benny da Sixteenth's fly pimp hat, yo
  141. [Florida] Man has dispute with neighbor. Does sensible thing -- crashes truck through front door of house, threatens occupants at gunpoint
  142. [Spiffy] World's largest corn maze built in Nebraska. Maze is designed to be much like Nebraska in that you enter, see nothing but corn, then leave
  143. [Cool] Apple cranks up iMacs with Core2Duos, bigger screens and lower prices. What more could a fanboi want?
  144. Iraq 'has months to avert collapse'
  145. [Obvious] Scientists discover that early humans tried to colonize ancient Britain at least eight times before finally finding a reason to stay. It is believed that this last effort coincided with the invention of beer
  146. [Sick] Three men arrested for trying to have a cold one after work. Yeah, not that kind of cold one
  147. [Obvious] If you're a police chief in the Bible Belt, and your wife is a porno queen, some townspeople would like to have a word with you
  148. [Ironic] U.S. Army reverts to Geneva protocols. In other news, this should never have been news
  149. did we get owned?
  150. It has Invaded!
  151. Since marty has shown his true colours...
  152. Important Announcement
  153. [Dumbass] Some video games may make you more social, according to report by two eternal virgins
  154. [Spiffy] Light-Emitting Shirts for the attention whore in all of us
  155. [Photoshop] Help Paramount enhance "Star Trek" -- photoshop some improvements you'd like to see in the series
  156. ehehehehehe I just got an idea
  157. Ginger Spice Says Her Child Was Abused
  158. Illinois legislative seat likely to stay gay
  159. KKK not okay
  160. Schwarzenegger signs anti-bias bill
  161. Rupert faces the public
  162. Everett's hetero sexual liaisons
  163. Ellen DeGeneres in car crash
  164. Ex-gays storm Palm Springs
  165. Southern Decadence returns to New Orleans
  166. Venice film fest: The Queen, Katrina, and 9/11
  167. Ghana offended by gay sex and bestiality
  168. Anti-gay rap star laps up Sir Elton
  169. A gay kiss- so what?
  170. Woman dies in gay sauna fire
  171. Digging though old OTF threads I find
  172. Gaybot
  173. The Pope is an old girl with a penis; or not
  174. Question
  175. New GameLink/Manshop Director Affiliate Sales
  176. windows vista kicks ass!
  177. Need a video delivery expert
  178. Free Partner Accounts ~
  179. Video: SLC Mayor Blasts Bush
  180. run a gay program with free content?
  181. Just Registered (Mark Wolff)
  182. Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
  183. Taking Batch DVD Screen Grabs?
  184. Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
  185. New gay niches
  186. Fall Discounts + Massive Portfolio Update! Check it out!
  187. [Asinine] Bush's new national-security offensive has been plagued by debate over what to call the bad guys. I say we call em FRED
  188. [Followup] We've been warning the lefties in this country for years about the Islamic nutcases in the Middle East and now Ahmadinejad urged the West to turn to God's path and said 'failure to do so would tempt fate.'
  189. [Cool] Why America's a powerhouse despite low test scores: the difference between education and learning. "This fragmented and mostly unplanned system compares favorably to other countries' more controlled governmental systems."
  190. [Obvious] "What do John Mark Karr and Joseph Wilson have in common? Both are attention-seeking liars who deliberately helped launch criminal investigations that should never have gone as far as they did."
  191. [Amusing] How can you tell the upcoming 9/11 miniseries is well-balanced? Clinton and Bush people are both whining like little biatches
  192. [Interesting] Yukon poll suggests tight three-way. Giggity. Oh, race? A tight three-way political race. Got it
  193. [Interesting] $23,700: The annual income point at which white voters stop listening to Democrats. In other news, Democrats announce that Assistant Managers at Pizza Hut are now part of "the Rich"
  194. [Dumbass] Today's Foot in Mouth award goes to Sen. Jim Talent: "That's the lesson we learned several years ago. Not that amnesty doesn't work, but that you don't call it amnesty"
  195. [Obvious] Reverend Sharpton endorses Andrew Cuomo for attorney general of New York, ensuring his loss to anyone else that runs
  196. [Interesting] Politicians rush to define war in Iraq, unaware that Family Guy has already done so with a middle-aged sex fiend
  197. [Followup] In 1996, Congress actually passed broader wiretap legislation that only eight senators opposed. History crawls back out of the memory hole; yells, "That all you bastards got?"
  198. [Interesting] Germany warns Iran about screwing with the UN. Punishment expected to be one creepy back rub per offense
  199. [Interesting] Iraqi Kurds and Shiites draft proposal to split up Iraq into autonomous regions. Sunnis not happy. Guess where all the oil is
  200. [PSA] You should brew your own beer because Miller supports illegal immigration
  201. [PSA] Republican candidates, you can now kiss your elderly vote goodbye
  202. [Interesting] Jesse Jackson, Jr. considering possible run for mayor of Chicago
  203. [Amusing] MP: "Prime Minister Blair should quit. I hereby resign in protest." PM Blair: "Yeah? Well, I was going to sack you anyway. So there"
  204. [Obvious] Wanted: Iraq Exit Strategy. Oh wait, it says, "Not wanted: An exit strategy"
  205. [Unlikely] Tennessee county to decide on whether to add Bible course to public school curriculum. How could anything possibly go wrong?
  206. [Dumbass] Seeing that kidnappings have worked out well to liberate prisoners without hurting Palestinian and Lebanese houses, Palestinian terrorists are opening "kidnapping training camps" in Gaza
  207. [Florida] Katharine Harris wins Florida GOP senate primary. She's like Lieberman, only she won her primary and is much more masculine
  208. [Dumbass] Morans call for more evangelical Christians to pull out of public schools and do more homeschooling
  209. [Interesting] Map that shows where offshore drilling is prohibited in the USA. Unfortunately, China couldn't care less
  210. [Misc] The 10 most brazen war profiteers
  211. [Dumbass] If you picked 9/5/06 as the day Condi would finally flip out in your office pool, congrats
  212. [Sad] Leglislation that bans the AFL-CIO from attacking Republican candidates for Congress takes effect on Thursday. Where is the outrage?
  213. [Spiffy] Japan's succession crisis has been averted as Princess Kiko has a boy. Whew
  214. [Amusing] Unaware of the existence of Miami, Cuban man in Arizona decides that there isn't a loud enough anti-Castro voice in America
  215. [Asinine] Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.) being probed because a friend donated land and didn't develop it and make millions. But even if he goes to jail, the French will still love him
  216. [Obvious] Wondering which right-wing neocon publication would be the first to draw the inevitable stingray-as-Islamofascism metaphor in the wake of Steve Irwin's tragic death? Looks like we have a winner
  217. [Obvious] Household incomes declined in 45 states from 1999-2005, suggesting Bush Administration claims of "strong" compensation growth are false
  218. [Obvious] Could Karl Rove and Ken Mehlmann be gay baiting to repress their own... how do you say... "tendencies?"
  219. [Stupid] ABC to air 9/11 "docudrama." Only problem is, ABC's counter-terrorism expert says it's bullshiat
  220. [Obvious] The Watergate that wasn't. Ain't that a biatch
  221. [Obvious] Hispanic voters pretty much invisible in Texas this election season
  222. [Obvious] So all those massive immigrant protests didn't actually portend a shift in political clout? Who knew?
  223. [PSA] Bush says that, five years later, we're still not safe. Forgets to mention that we never were, never will be and that's just the way life is
  224. [Obvious] Ahminabadmood seeks to purge "liberal and secular" university professors. Bush excited to have found common ground
  225. [PSA] A statistical view of how 9/11 changed the United States
  226. [Interesting] Dell is ready to sell OS X if Apple would allow them to build the hardware
  227. [Dumbass] WSOP 2006 winner has half of winnings frozen. Has moved down to the Really Small Blinds table
  228. [Spiffy] Deadspin introducing its inaugural Hall of Fame class today. Inductees include cheerleaders, Vikings, and dinosaurs, all with Leather
  229. [Misc] World Cup champion Azzurri fall 3-1 to France in rematch of the finals, and are in real danger of not qualifying for Euro 2008
  230. [Asinine] Half of high school football players will suffer a concussion this season, and one in three will have more than one in the same game. Doctors who scream boxing should be banned because of head injuries inexplicably silent
  231. [Amusing] Fashion double faults at the US Open. Can't blame these outfits on the line judge
  232. [Asinine] Average NFL ticket price rises to over $62. A 40 of Schlitz plus a Hustler still $5.95
  233. [Asinine] Colorado coach Dan Hawkins blames loss to Division I-AA Montana State on "47 mistakes, both big and small," including his invalid computer password and a dead tree
  234. [Sad] 31-year old pitcher finally gets a shot at the majors, only to have the game postponed due to rain, then is promptly sent back to the minors
  235. [Sad] Michael Schumacher to reportedly announce his retirement after the Italian Grand Prix on Sunday
  236. [Spiffy] Peter Forsberg back on ice after ankle surgery just in time to pull hammy, strain abdominals, dislocate shoulder, break collarbone, etc. You used to this yet, Flyers fans?
  237. [Amusing] "I, for one, will go on record saying that the postseason just won't seem the same without the Braves being in it for a week"
  238. [Dumbass] Golfing expert M. Night Shyamalan accuses teen prodigy Michelle Wie of questionable character
  239. [Obvious] Which Broncos tailback will ring the Rams bell has not been disclosed, like it matters
  240. [Amusing] U.S. National Team and Kansas City Wizards defender Jimmy Conrad on his broken jaw, Andriy Shevchenko's body odor and getting yelled at by Brandi Chastain
  241. [Dumbass] Fox sports tries to humiliate Panthers fan, apparently blue wig and cape not enough
  242. [Interesting] Billy Volek played himself out of the Titans starting job because he was lazy and arrogant
  243. [Dumbass] The Sports Guy wipes Tom Brady's man juice off his face long enought to pick the Patriots to win the Superbowl this year
  244. [Unlikely] Former manager of the Red Sox is now off in Israel, gettin the team in shape. World Baseball Classic, here they come
  245. [Spiffy] After breaking his hip, Clemens to play on Saturday. Assuming he doesn't drive by any farmer's markets
  246. [Hero] The homerun chase no one's following
  247. [Cool] Thuram invites immigrant squatters to the match between France and Italy tonight, telling the French far right to suck it
  248. [Cool] NY Yankees send flowers and best wishes to Boston pitcher Jon Lester
  249. [Ironic] Ex-loud-mouth Cowboy Michael Irvin: "I want to see more of anybody -- and less T.O. Period"
  250. [Stupid] Stupid: Nebraska group sets out to make Guinness World Record for longest baseball game. Stupider: They tried the same thing last year and failed