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- Bow before me
- Onward, TO GLORY!
- Rebel Alliance
- Newsbot needs to go down.
- Guys, this shit is annoying
- Which side are you?
- Organization
- Hey
- thnx for the text message, captain diabetes!
- should whuh's Spam Fortress be brought here?
- Ranks
- [Obvious] Yet another bus driver relieves boredom of interstate trips by channeling Walter Mitta. Oh look, he's a fighter pilot trying to shake off bogeys with 360º rolls and ... that turned out badly
- hey guys
- [Unlikely] Mickey Mouse, Spongebob, and the Tasmanian Devil are now appearing on fruit and vegetable packages nationwide in an attempt to have children eat healthier. Article "forgets" to mention that those characters also sponsor Pop-Tarts
- [Cool] Coolest picture of the moon you'll see... well, ever
- [Interesting] Why people are drawn to 9/11 conspiracy theories
- well
- [Scary] Dihydrogen monoxide, a compound used in millions of food and dairy products, is responsible for millions of deaths every year--and the EPA does nothing about it
- [Interesting] Suze Orman lists the top five money mistakes that men make. Giving her a credit card strangely missing from list
- [Dumbass] 50 Most Bizarre Street Signs
- [Sad] Think you've got a crappy job? Worker found at bottom of sewage tank
- Lazer
- Kill the goddamned BAWTS.
- Roflcopter!
- Company of Heroes Demo
- [Strange] Forget the hurricanes, bales of hay are spontaneously combusting in Michigan. EVERYBODY PANIC
- [Cool] Jeff Minter making Tempest 2000-3000 sequel called Space Giraffe for Xbox 360
- [Development] Newsbot is a HERMAPHRODITE
- [Amusing] I-Mockery's newest flash game makes gardening an adventure
- [Cool] It took 10 months, 200 people, some wooden nickles and a few cans of beans, but ton sarnit if there aren't 700 drawings of hobos
- [Hero] Trailer park, which sits less than a mile from Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue stores, and is surrounded by half-million dollar homes, wins court battle to exist. Suck it, teeth-owners
- Obscenity
- [NOTICE] Judgement Day!!
- Groups
- MY solution
- What have i started
- You! Invaders!
- [Poll] So, What the fuck?
- Poor Guy
- Squad 1 Home-Thread
- Squad 3 Hizome THrized
- Ps3
- Take the legs out to win!
- So I'm finally moving out...
- UN Newsbot Inspectors
- Yeah so.
- So.....cold.
- "Rise Against the Machines" create new song calling for an end to Newsbot.
- IMPORTANT DEVELOPMENT caps
- 99.99999% of women suck at driving
- we need a new sig
- Ben Stiller takes night shift museum guard job.
- This is getting olde...
- A Loyalists Prayer...
- Bf2
- Need Rep
- So wait? WTF?
- I'm taking a vacation...
- lonelygirl15
- Peace in Our Time
- Mexico's next president urges unity
- Israel to lift blockade of Lebanon
- Last-ditch Iran nuke talks delayed
- Taliban making inroads in key Afghan province
- Kidnap girl 'thought only of escape'
- Bali death sentences: Clemency call
- [Interesting] Geek Fight: Will Windows Vista fark up the Internets?
- [Interesting] Scientists identify methane as newest global climate threat, and yes, they were looking at you when they said it, Tooty McTooter
- [Unlikely] New study suggests that some online games may enhance sociability. Still no connection between parent's basements and increased virility
- [Unlikely] I saw a CD stand, heard a broadband, I saw an LED that winked its eye. But I think I will have seen everything, before I see this "flying car" fly. Deposits now being taken
- [Amusing] British scientists fuming after premier science festival includes man demostrating telepathy and another claiming proof of life after death
- [Obvious] Students protest as Facebook.com upgrades to StalkerNet 2.0, then resume looking for nude pictures of the hot girl at last night's party
- [Interesting] New underground trigger for volcano eruption found. Strangely enough, it starts with "Do I look fat it this?"
- [Interesting] Librovision allows you to "leaf through a virtual book, enlarge details or shift them about on the display surface by using simple hand motions and without physically touching the computer"
- [Interesting] New solution in Italy to fight high gas prices: wine drinking cars
- [Cool] AMD rolls out new dual-core desktop Athlons. That's 2.6 GHz of sweet sweet Intel-crushing power, baby
- [Stupid] Facebook offers new "feature" which shows you every change any of your friends make. Luckily there are no online stalkers waiting to take advantage of something like this, otherwise it'd be incredibly farking stupid
- [Interesting] Ngage 2 announced
- [Dumbass] Hewlett-Packard under investigation for media leaks
- [Cool] Experts discover chimps have the ability to safely cross roads. Involves alpha males being able to construct crude orange vests, stop signs from feces
- [Cool] Roger Smith makes Tesla coils, he makes big Tesla coils, and he likes to talk about them at length before FINALLY turning them on
- [Amusing] Verb Conjugation [to be] now property of Microsoft
- [Interesting] New research suggests Linus' brain was hardwired to carry around his blanket. No word yet on being a blockhead
- [Interesting] City birds less stressed out than country birds, dude
- [Hero] William Shatner refuses Virgin Galactic's offer of a seat on their first passenger flight because "I’m interested in man’s march into the unknown but to vomit in space is not my idea of a good time"
- [Unlikely] Iran cures AIDS. Is there nothing they can't do? Or, more likely, is there anything they can do?
- [Obvious] British researchers discover something that's been known for decades: Mice don't like cheese
- [Interesting] Stephen Hawking looking for assistant: "Flexibility, stamina and a confident and caring personality, together with ability to change tyres, are essential for this demanding job"
- [Scary] Potomac "intersex" fish worry scientists, who've apparently never been to Key West during FantasyFest
- [Cool] Ohio Linux geeks to throw huge blowout with naked penguins and beer. OSU football team not allowed to attend
- [Unlikely] The woman that took more than 100 hours to implement Adsense is now adding to her suit that Google deleted her emails and destroyed her evidence
- [Spiffy] Forget OpenOffice vs. Word -- the latest word processors for PC and Mac are truly old school and free
- [Hero] Why high-def TV vorks: Watching (and hoping) Scarlett Johansson will spill out of her cocktail dress while laughing to Leno (now that's content)
- [Interesting] Google acquires newspaper archive from 1700s. Ye 'olde Farkers rejoice with flamewars on the incompent leadership of President George (Washington)
- [Cool] FDA approves first implantable artificial heart. With a battery life of up to one hour. What could possibly go wrong?
- [Interesting] Sony's European PS3 delay: the implications for gamers, publishers and Blu-ray
- [Sick] If you're overweight, it's twice as likely that you're blind. It's also twice as likely that everyone around you wishes they were blind
- [Obvious] Space Shuttle that was supposed to launch, then moved halfway back due to Ernesto, then brought back out, then postponed, then supposed to launch, postponed again due to bad fuel cell
- [Stupid] Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate will cost $399, but don't worry: that version is only for people who want to do both games AND office work on their computer
- [Unlikely] Scientist has conclusively proven that the person that you were thinking about when she called you on the telephone really did read your mind
- [Scary] If your husband has gambling debts do you 1) try to help him, 2) divorce him or 3) have him killed, barbequed and fed to tigers? The fact that you're reading this on Fark should tell you that in Thailand, they do things their way
- [Ironic] "Police hope to expose serial flasher"
- [Dumbass] Diving out the front window to escape the cops only works in the movies. IRL it makes you look like a stupid jackass
- [Unlikely] Nova Scotia air show drops A-10 Warthogs from show on fears the pilots may strafe the crowd
- [Stupid] This just in: Stingrays are not a problem in Delaware
- [Amusing] Scots baffled by sign on building site reading, "Ymddirheurwn am unrhyw anghyfleustra a achosir yn ystod gwaith adnewyddu" especially as some of them hadn't started drinking yet
- [Obvious] Witch doctors in Zimbabwe given permission to grant people sick days that employers have to accept. Too bad nobody in Zim has a job any more, or this would mean something
- [Dumbass] Accused MySpace rapist's attorney claims Constitutional procreation rights, regardless of victim's age. Austin Farkers seen lining up to kick lawyer's planet-sized balls
- [Dumbass] Oregon man returns to woman's house to apologize for raping her back in March. Jailarity ensues
- [AudioEdit] AudioEdit this hilarious preacher dude into a most excellent dance mix
- [Strange] "Police said Gaetan Roy had just lost his job, so he came up with a plan: Rob a bank, hang around, then get taken to jail to be 'supported.'" Well, it kinda worked
- [Amusing] Guy wins £10,000 unjustified dismissal award after being fired for taking time off to mourn his dog, which wanted a wake
- [Obvious] CDC releases their annual September "Well have plenty of flu shots available this year" report. Begins work on draft of annual November "We will have a shortage of flu shots this year because " report
- [Florida] Farker's local TV news affiliate's online poll: "Do you have confidence in Palm Beach County's voting system?" Results at 11:00 PM EST. Please vote accordingly
- [NewsFlash] Former Illinois Governor gets 6.5 years in PMITA prison for racketeering. Will hopefully die there. In a fire
- [Followup] Lone survivor of Lexington plane crash's first words were "Why did God do this to me?" disappointing those who picked, "What the hell was THAT?" in the pool
- [Interesting] GM to entice new customers by proving that substandard cars sold at heavy discounts might actually last more than three years
- [Weird] Fox News reporter gets beaten by real estate scammer (w/ video goodness)
- [Spiffy] Uncontrollable 6-year old removed from flight, hopefully precedent extends to restaurants
- [Obvious] Nepalese midget denied world record by Guinness for shortest man. If only this story had a pirate or goat involved
- [Amusing] Another sign the apocalypse is near: The Gwen Stefani fashion dolls
- [Video] The horror of nuclear war as filtered through the horror of 80s music videos, including Europe's "The Final Countdown"
- [Dumbass] If you're going to take advantage of Houston's new "no-chase" policy, make sure that: 1) The policy is still in effect, and 2) you're actually running from Houston PD
- [Dumbass] Speeding driver blames Canada for lack of Goats
- [Spiffy] Dan Rather donates $2 million to alma mater, Sam Houston State University, leading administrators to question authenticity of two-million-dollar bill
- [Photoshop] Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cards
- [Strange] Woman doesn't tell authorities her father died on Amtrack because she wanted to avoid the cost of shipping his body home
- [Cool] REMINDER: Today is the last day to book your room for the Boston Fark Party at the group rate. LGT reservation page
- [Interesting] Man confesses to 19 year old murder at Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Kudos to him for a thorough step 8. Step 9: 10 years to life
- [Obvious] Taser victim had taken a lot of cocaine, says pathologist. It's a helluva drug
- [Unlikely] Father of Ron Goldman asks court to give him publicity rights to name, image and likeness of O.J. Simpson. Hey, remember Ron Goldman?
- [Dumbass] Limo to strip club: $120. Seventy minutes with a stripper named Chastity: $960. Having a heart attack to avoid paying her: Priceless
- [Caption] What's the baby trying to tell them? (Voting enabled)
- [Dumbass] Grandma tasered after: A) Leaving the scene of an accident? B) Attempting to elude officers? C) Resisting arrest? D) Driving away after one-year-old granddaughter fell out of the car? E) All of the above? (With pic goodness)
- [Survey] The Canadian Mint is holding a contest to name the bear on the $2.00 coin, but their choices are lame. Let's see some write-in votes
- [Obvious] Heineken sees 26 percent rise in profit due to World Cup sales, thirsty Kentuckian with sharply receding hairline
- [Asinine] DMV decides Corvair owner can't have an "F Nader" license plate. Freedom of speech, unsafe at any speed
- [Hero] America's first convicted felony spammer may finally be on his way to prison
- [Strange] Woman takes pleasant stroll down street with children in chains. "Link submission thingee" surrenders
- [Amusing] Check out Pope Benny da Sixteenth's fly pimp hat, yo
- [Florida] Man has dispute with neighbor. Does sensible thing -- crashes truck through front door of house, threatens occupants at gunpoint
- [Spiffy] World's largest corn maze built in Nebraska. Maze is designed to be much like Nebraska in that you enter, see nothing but corn, then leave
- [Cool] Apple cranks up iMacs with Core2Duos, bigger screens and lower prices. What more could a fanboi want?
- Iraq 'has months to avert collapse'
- [Obvious] Scientists discover that early humans tried to colonize ancient Britain at least eight times before finally finding a reason to stay. It is believed that this last effort coincided with the invention of beer
- [Sick] Three men arrested for trying to have a cold one after work. Yeah, not that kind of cold one
- [Obvious] If you're a police chief in the Bible Belt, and your wife is a porno queen, some townspeople would like to have a word with you
- [Ironic] U.S. Army reverts to Geneva protocols. In other news, this should never have been news
- did we get owned?
- It has Invaded!
- Since marty has shown his true colours...
- Important Announcement
- [Dumbass] Some video games may make you more social, according to report by two eternal virgins
- [Spiffy] Light-Emitting Shirts for the attention whore in all of us
- [Photoshop] Help Paramount enhance "Star Trek" -- photoshop some improvements you'd like to see in the series
- ehehehehehe I just got an idea
- Ginger Spice Says Her Child Was Abused
- Illinois legislative seat likely to stay gay
- KKK not okay
- Schwarzenegger signs anti-bias bill
- Rupert faces the public
- Everett's hetero sexual liaisons
- Ellen DeGeneres in car crash
- Ex-gays storm Palm Springs
- Southern Decadence returns to New Orleans
- Venice film fest: The Queen, Katrina, and 9/11
- Ghana offended by gay sex and bestiality
- Anti-gay rap star laps up Sir Elton
- A gay kiss- so what?
- Woman dies in gay sauna fire
- Digging though old OTF threads I find
- Gaybot
- The Pope is an old girl with a penis; or not
- Question
- New GameLink/Manshop Director Affiliate Sales
- windows vista kicks ass!
- Need a video delivery expert
- Free Partner Accounts ~
- Video: SLC Mayor Blasts Bush
- run a gay program with free content?
- Just Registered (Mark Wolff)
- Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
- Taking Batch DVD Screen Grabs?
- Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
- New gay niches
- Fall Discounts + Massive Portfolio Update! Check it out!
- [Asinine] Bush's new national-security offensive has been plagued by debate over what to call the bad guys. I say we call em FRED
- [Followup] We've been warning the lefties in this country for years about the Islamic nutcases in the Middle East and now Ahmadinejad urged the West to turn to God's path and said 'failure to do so would tempt fate.'
- [Cool] Why America's a powerhouse despite low test scores: the difference between education and learning. "This fragmented and mostly unplanned system compares favorably to other countries' more controlled governmental systems."
- [Obvious] "What do John Mark Karr and Joseph Wilson have in common? Both are attention-seeking liars who deliberately helped launch criminal investigations that should never have gone as far as they did."
- [Amusing] How can you tell the upcoming 9/11 miniseries is well-balanced? Clinton and Bush people are both whining like little biatches
- [Interesting] Yukon poll suggests tight three-way. Giggity. Oh, race? A tight three-way political race. Got it
- [Interesting] $23,700: The annual income point at which white voters stop listening to Democrats. In other news, Democrats announce that Assistant Managers at Pizza Hut are now part of "the Rich"
- [Dumbass] Today's Foot in Mouth award goes to Sen. Jim Talent: "That's the lesson we learned several years ago. Not that amnesty doesn't work, but that you don't call it amnesty"
- [Obvious] Reverend Sharpton endorses Andrew Cuomo for attorney general of New York, ensuring his loss to anyone else that runs
- [Interesting] Politicians rush to define war in Iraq, unaware that Family Guy has already done so with a middle-aged sex fiend
- [Followup] In 1996, Congress actually passed broader wiretap legislation that only eight senators opposed. History crawls back out of the memory hole; yells, "That all you bastards got?"
- [Interesting] Germany warns Iran about screwing with the UN. Punishment expected to be one creepy back rub per offense
- [Interesting] Iraqi Kurds and Shiites draft proposal to split up Iraq into autonomous regions. Sunnis not happy. Guess where all the oil is
- [PSA] You should brew your own beer because Miller supports illegal immigration
- [PSA] Republican candidates, you can now kiss your elderly vote goodbye
- [Interesting] Jesse Jackson, Jr. considering possible run for mayor of Chicago
- [Amusing] MP: "Prime Minister Blair should quit. I hereby resign in protest." PM Blair: "Yeah? Well, I was going to sack you anyway. So there"
- [Obvious] Wanted: Iraq Exit Strategy. Oh wait, it says, "Not wanted: An exit strategy"
- [Unlikely] Tennessee county to decide on whether to add Bible course to public school curriculum. How could anything possibly go wrong?
- [Dumbass] Seeing that kidnappings have worked out well to liberate prisoners without hurting Palestinian and Lebanese houses, Palestinian terrorists are opening "kidnapping training camps" in Gaza
- [Florida] Katharine Harris wins Florida GOP senate primary. She's like Lieberman, only she won her primary and is much more masculine
- [Dumbass] Morans call for more evangelical Christians to pull out of public schools and do more homeschooling
- [Interesting] Map that shows where offshore drilling is prohibited in the USA. Unfortunately, China couldn't care less
- [Misc] The 10 most brazen war profiteers
- [Dumbass] If you picked 9/5/06 as the day Condi would finally flip out in your office pool, congrats
- [Sad] Leglislation that bans the AFL-CIO from attacking Republican candidates for Congress takes effect on Thursday. Where is the outrage?
- [Spiffy] Japan's succession crisis has been averted as Princess Kiko has a boy. Whew
- [Amusing] Unaware of the existence of Miami, Cuban man in Arizona decides that there isn't a loud enough anti-Castro voice in America
- [Asinine] Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.) being probed because a friend donated land and didn't develop it and make millions. But even if he goes to jail, the French will still love him
- [Obvious] Wondering which right-wing neocon publication would be the first to draw the inevitable stingray-as-Islamofascism metaphor in the wake of Steve Irwin's tragic death? Looks like we have a winner
- [Obvious] Household incomes declined in 45 states from 1999-2005, suggesting Bush Administration claims of "strong" compensation growth are false
- [Obvious] Could Karl Rove and Ken Mehlmann be gay baiting to repress their own... how do you say... "tendencies?"
- [Stupid] ABC to air 9/11 "docudrama." Only problem is, ABC's counter-terrorism expert says it's bullshiat
- [Obvious] The Watergate that wasn't. Ain't that a biatch
- [Obvious] Hispanic voters pretty much invisible in Texas this election season
- [Obvious] So all those massive immigrant protests didn't actually portend a shift in political clout? Who knew?
- [PSA] Bush says that, five years later, we're still not safe. Forgets to mention that we never were, never will be and that's just the way life is
- [Obvious] Ahminabadmood seeks to purge "liberal and secular" university professors. Bush excited to have found common ground
- [PSA] A statistical view of how 9/11 changed the United States
- [Interesting] Dell is ready to sell OS X if Apple would allow them to build the hardware
- [Dumbass] WSOP 2006 winner has half of winnings frozen. Has moved down to the Really Small Blinds table
- [Spiffy] Deadspin introducing its inaugural Hall of Fame class today. Inductees include cheerleaders, Vikings, and dinosaurs, all with Leather
- [Misc] World Cup champion Azzurri fall 3-1 to France in rematch of the finals, and are in real danger of not qualifying for Euro 2008
- [Asinine] Half of high school football players will suffer a concussion this season, and one in three will have more than one in the same game. Doctors who scream boxing should be banned because of head injuries inexplicably silent
- [Amusing] Fashion double faults at the US Open. Can't blame these outfits on the line judge
- [Asinine] Average NFL ticket price rises to over $62. A 40 of Schlitz plus a Hustler still $5.95
- [Asinine] Colorado coach Dan Hawkins blames loss to Division I-AA Montana State on "47 mistakes, both big and small," including his invalid computer password and a dead tree
- [Sad] 31-year old pitcher finally gets a shot at the majors, only to have the game postponed due to rain, then is promptly sent back to the minors
- [Sad] Michael Schumacher to reportedly announce his retirement after the Italian Grand Prix on Sunday
- [Spiffy] Peter Forsberg back on ice after ankle surgery just in time to pull hammy, strain abdominals, dislocate shoulder, break collarbone, etc. You used to this yet, Flyers fans?
- [Amusing] "I, for one, will go on record saying that the postseason just won't seem the same without the Braves being in it for a week"
- [Dumbass] Golfing expert M. Night Shyamalan accuses teen prodigy Michelle Wie of questionable character
- [Obvious] Which Broncos tailback will ring the Rams bell has not been disclosed, like it matters
- [Amusing] U.S. National Team and Kansas City Wizards defender Jimmy Conrad on his broken jaw, Andriy Shevchenko's body odor and getting yelled at by Brandi Chastain
- [Dumbass] Fox sports tries to humiliate Panthers fan, apparently blue wig and cape not enough
- [Interesting] Billy Volek played himself out of the Titans starting job because he was lazy and arrogant
- [Dumbass] The Sports Guy wipes Tom Brady's man juice off his face long enought to pick the Patriots to win the Superbowl this year
- [Unlikely] Former manager of the Red Sox is now off in Israel, gettin the team in shape. World Baseball Classic, here they come
- [Spiffy] After breaking his hip, Clemens to play on Saturday. Assuming he doesn't drive by any farmer's markets
- [Hero] The homerun chase no one's following
- [Cool] Thuram invites immigrant squatters to the match between France and Italy tonight, telling the French far right to suck it
- [Cool] NY Yankees send flowers and best wishes to Boston pitcher Jon Lester
- [Ironic] Ex-loud-mouth Cowboy Michael Irvin: "I want to see more of anybody -- and less T.O. Period"
- [Stupid] Stupid: Nebraska group sets out to make Guinness World Record for longest baseball game. Stupider: They tried the same thing last year and failed
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