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- [Followup] Could Michael Bush be the next Willis McGahee? Submitter wants a Football tag
- [Sad] After months of hard work and determination, the Chicago Cubs have finally made it: The worst record in the National League
- [Cool] For the first time in 34 years, there were seven shutouts in one night. Suck it, steroid-fueled homerun hitters
- [Florida] Hysterical Miami fans screaming for Larry Coker's head after Hurricanes lose two games in a row
- [Ironic] Adrian Peterson catches flak for his performance Saturday and shows us all why he will win the Heisman, if Oklahoma lets him…
- [Interesting] Predictions for the 2006 NFL season
- [Obvious] Ken Griffey Jr spins the injury wheel, this time it lands on dislocated toe
- [Interesting] Chargers' Shawn Merriman was the youngest player in the NFL last year, Sean Lanetta was the oldest; and other odd NFL nuggets
- [Amusing] NASCAR is leaving no demographic unaccounted for. Check out the Interstate Batteries pacifier for the tots and Tony Stewart fans
- [Spiffy] Bobby Abreu is batting .374 since joining the Yankees. Suck it, Theo
- [Amusing] Hooker wins national rugby league player of the year award. No word yet on plans to switch to lacrosse
- [Spiffy] If you have tickets to tomorrow's US Open daytime session, you are one lucky bastard
- [Dumbass] Chicago's "Man of the Year" becomes San Jose's drunk hockey player of the week
- [Followup] Penguins rejoice over finally signing Evgeni Malkin, finding cure for tipping
- [Florida] "They said by the way, this rule passed. I said, 'What rule?' They said the clock is going to keep running and then they started talking about what we were going to order for lunch"
- [Followup] Spain wins basketball World Championships sans best player. USA's perennial "We could've won if we fielded our best team" excuse starting to ring a little hollow
- [Amusing] Ton Ten South American Footballers
- [Cool] All-haiku preview of the upcoming NFL season
- [Cool] Associated Press finally figures out that Notre Dame is overated; will give us the first regular season game of No. 1 vs. No. 2 since 1996
- [Cool] Doctors clear David Ortiz to get back on the Titanic
- [Ironic] St. Joseph College in Indiana has a seven-foot-tall, 370-pound offensive lineman named Max Limp
- [Stupid] XFL legend Tommy Maddox could be replaced in Pittsburgh by AARP legend Jeff George
- [PSA] The five best and worst moves made at the MLB trade deadline this year. Looks like Ca$hman has done it again
- [Followup] Barbaro's condition upgraded once again, from "glue" to "Spalding"
- [Dumbass] Materazzi insulted Zidane's sister in head-butt incident
- [Spiffy] High school running back gains 843 yards (similar to Duke's seasonal output) in two games
- [Amusing] Microsoft UK: Sony's technology is unproven. Sony: Your mom is unproven. Wait, no... Very proven. Because we have sex with her all the time
- [Amusing] Lindsay Lohan haiku
- [Video] When not tied up saving their respective universes, He-man, Lion-o and Voltron kick it together scoping out the honeys at all-night, drug-fueled raves on Cobra Island
- [Cool] Surviving member of the Traveling Wilburys' album hits number 1. His first since 1976
- [Obvious] Entertainment meteorologists reporting that a depression of suckitude has formed over the US after a member of the group Color Me Badd has married a former American Idol contestant. May be upgraded to Category 1 if it moves toward Hollywood
- [Spiffy] "Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following list of best Simpsons guest stars is good. And by good, I mean bad. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real purpose? The answer is no.&qu
- [Cool] Mel Brooks to turn 'Young Frankenstein' into Broadway play
- [Dumbass] FCC fines radio station for, among other things, operating out of an Econo Lodge. Don't worry, they'll leave the radio on for ya'
- [Silly] Hollywood takes the last swirl down the drain as Toby Keith gets acting advice from Legendary Film Star Burt Reynolds
- [Interesting] Pete Doherty goes from junkie to stockbroker
- [Followup] Victoria Beckham is not pregnant, can keep her coat-rack-thin figure
- [Interesting] Britney Spears may name her new rugrat "Jailynn" after the place where the child's daddy, K-Fed, will no doubt eventually end up
- [Interesting] Kate Bosworth splits with Orlando Bloom, expresses sadness at his lack of booty plundering
- [Silly] For some reason, Catherine Zeta-Jones wasn't flattered when a dog was named after her in a new movie
- [Dumbass] Noel Gallagher wants to start chain of Oasis-themed hotels, which are expected to completely rip off Beatles-themed hotels
- [Dumbass] Joan Rivers warns young girls that money spent on plastic surgery is more important than education
- [Cool] P. Diddy soon to have Q. Diddy and R. Diddy
- [Dumbass] Princess Di's butler publishes a tell-all book. Again
- [Followup] Media experts predict the Steve Irwin stingray video will eventually end up on the Internet, reports the Obvious Daily News
- [Obvious] John Mayer has already dumped Jessica Simpson cause she won't STFU
- [Stupid] Malibu bar patrons "entertained" by the impromptu beer-soaked, shirtless musical duo of Kid Rock & Jeremy Piven. Sadly, no stage banter on Jews & warfare
- [Obvious] CBS teams up with TiVo in groundbreaking deal to allow users to skip over their programs and watch the commercials. Probably not what they expected, but have you seen their prime-time line up?
- [Survey] Who do you think is the most underrated, yet talented actor in Hollywood today? VE LG submitter's pick
- [Obvious] Kid who claimed Michael Jackson molested him now claiming his dad attacked him with a barbell. Yeah, I think I'm seeing a pattern here
- [Amusing] Take aim at stupid people with the 4th Annual World Stupidity Awards
- [Amusing] While he recuperates, reminisce with Roger Ebert about the brilliance of "Beavis & Butthead Do America"
- [Spiffy] Vivian Leigh and Cary Grant are the most beautiful British people ever. Sean Connery inconsolable, now seeing the rapists
- [Hero] "Weird Al" Yankovic to the RIAA: Suck It
- [Interesting] Clear pics of Optimus Prime. My god, can't the paparazzi leave anyone alone?
- [Amusing] Rosanne and Jackie vs. Eddy and Patsy
- [Cool] "The Hobbit" to start filming in three... two... one...
- [Obvious] Today's "government grant money put to good use" brought to you by a study to see if celebrities really are more narcissistic than the "general public"
- [Asinine] Pamela Anderson is launching her own make-up line called {Insert money shot joke here}
- [Asinine] About 30 years too late: Meat Loaf hires a vocal coach for his upcoming "Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose" album
- [Amusing] Just like the videos they used to air, MTV co-founder has "resigned" from the company
- [Cool] Actor Martin Sheen has enrolled in a bachelor's degree program so that he will be able to actually know a bit about the issues he protests
- [Weird] Freddie Mercury complains that there is a lack of sexual opportunities from beyond the grave, according to a psychic who contacted him on his birthday
- [Interesting] Sharon Osbourne's dog bites Patrick Swayze. To be safe, Kelly will have her head cut off and tested for rabies
- [Asinine] Lindsay Lohan says she hopes her role in the movie about that assasination thingy gets young people more involved in that politics thingy and they vote in those election thingys
- [Misc] Entertainment Weekly claims U2's sound spawned from Exile's "Kiss You All Over." More ruminations on the pop music of 1978 from someone who inexplicably gets paid to write a column
- [Dumbass] Joe Eszterhas says Val Kilmer is an imbecile and Michael Douglas is dumb -- this coming from the man who wrote "Showgirls"
- [Interesting] "Singin' in the Rain" named the best movie musical ever. Farkers complain that "Bat Boy: The Musical" hasn't been made into a movie yet
- [Stupid] Katie Couric ready for prime time debut, eager to report on growing stingray threat. More at 11:00
- [Dumbass] Detroit Lions assistant coach found driving drunk and naked. Lions said to be in talks with said coach for the quarterback job, as it is the most successful drive a Lion has made in 10 years
- [Stupid] Army bands forced nakedness, and hooding. "Not sure what other* Don't ask Don't tell* policies will also be affected or banned
- [Asinine] Senator Allen (R-Macaca) steals amendment from Democratic colleague, takes credit for it as his own
- [Amusing] Germany 13-0 San Marino, who says there's no scoring in football?
- [Dumbass] Turns out the only way to stop the national champion Texas Bonghorn football team is with a Taser
- [Video] Some funny "House" outtakes
- [Stupid] Tori Spelling's year ... just went from bad to worse
- The Awful Movie Database - John Buck Junior: World's Greatest Slave Hunter
- Front Page News - The Hot Dogs Cook Themselves Now
- Daily Dirt - I don't even know, okay
- Pregame Wrapup - NFL Week 1 Preview With Special Guest Flea
- Front Page News - Being a Better Roommate
- The Flash Tub - Zelda CD-i Remix
- Front Page News - My Book is Sale!
- The Weekend Web - Yoshi Art and Jeffrey's Love Quest
- Rom Pit - Phantom Fighter
- It has Invaded!
- did we get owned?
- [Spiffy] World's largest corn maze built in Nebraska. Maze is designed to be much like Nebraska in that you enter, see nothing but corn, then leave
- [Florida] Man has dispute with neighbor. Does sensible thing -- crashes truck through front door of house, threatens occupants at gunpoint
- [Amusing] Check out Pope Benny da Sixteenth's fly pimp hat, yo
- [Strange] Woman takes pleasant stroll down street with children in chains. "Link submission thingee" surrenders
- [Hero] America's first convicted felony spammer may finally be on his way to prison
- [Asinine] DMV decides Corvair owner can't have an "F Nader" license plate. Freedom of speech, unsafe at any speed
- [Obvious] Heineken sees 26 percent rise in profit due to World Cup sales, thirsty Kentuckian with sharply receding hairline
- [Ironic] U.S. Army reverts to Geneva protocols. In other news, this should never have been news
- [Survey] The Canadian Mint is holding a contest to name the bear on the $2.00 coin, but their choices are lame. Let's see some write-in votes
- [Dumbass] Grandma tasered after: A) Leaving the scene of an accident? B) Attempting to elude officers? C) Resisting arrest? D) Driving away after one-year-old granddaughter fell out of the car? E) All of the above? (With pic goodness)
- [Caption] What's the baby trying to tell them? (Voting enabled)
- [Dumbass] Limo to strip club: $120. Seventy minutes with a stripper named Chastity: $960. Having a heart attack to avoid paying her: Priceless
- Front Page News - The Bargain Book Bin: I Rewrite The Classics
- [Sick] Three men arrested for trying to have a cold one after work. Yeah, not that kind of cold one
- Newsbot wins
- [Important] Newsbot will be destroyed
- Newsbot wins
- [Dumbass] Detroit Lions assistant coach found driving drunk and naked. Lions said to be in talks with said coach for the quarterback job, as it is the most successful drive a Lion has made in 10 years
- [Stupid] Army bands forced nakedness, and hooding. "Not sure what other* Don't ask Don't tell* policies will also be affected or banned
- [Asinine] Senator Allen (R-Macaca) steals amendment from Democratic colleague, takes credit for it as his own
- [Amusing] Germany 13-0 San Marino, who says there's no scoring in football?
- [Dumbass] Turns out the only way to stop the national champion Texas Bonghorn football team is with a Taser
- [Video] Some funny "House" outtakes
- [Stupid] Tori Spelling's year ... just went from bad to worse
- The Awful Movie Database - John Buck Junior: World's Greatest Slave Hunter
- Front Page News - The Hot Dogs Cook Themselves Now
- Pregame Wrapup - NFL Week 1 Preview With Special Guest Flea
- Front Page News - Being a Better Roommate
- The Flash Tub - Zelda CD-i Remix
- Front Page News - My Book is Sale!
- Front Page News - The Bargain Book Bin: I Rewrite The Classics
- The Weekend Web - Yoshi Art and Jeffrey's Love Quest
- Rom Pit - Phantom Fighter
- It has Invaded!
- did we get owned?
- [Spiffy] World's largest corn maze built in Nebraska. Maze is designed to be much like Nebraska in that you enter, see nothing but corn, then leave
- [Florida] Man has dispute with neighbor. Does sensible thing -- crashes truck through front door of house, threatens occupants at gunpoint
- [Amusing] Check out Pope Benny da Sixteenth's fly pimp hat, yo
- [Strange] Woman takes pleasant stroll down street with children in chains. "Link submission thingee" surrenders
- [Hero] America's first convicted felony spammer may finally be on his way to prison
- [Asinine] DMV decides Corvair owner can't have an "F Nader" license plate. Freedom of speech, unsafe at any speed
- [Obvious] Heineken sees 26 percent rise in profit due to World Cup sales, thirsty Kentuckian with sharply receding hairline
- [Ironic] U.S. Army reverts to Geneva protocols. In other news, this should never have been news
- [Survey] The Canadian Mint is holding a contest to name the bear on the $2.00 coin, but their choices are lame. Let's see some write-in votes
- [Dumbass] Grandma tasered after: A) Leaving the scene of an accident? B) Attempting to elude officers? C) Resisting arrest? D) Driving away after one-year-old granddaughter fell out of the car? E) All of the above? (With pic goodness)
- [Sick] Three men arrested for trying to have a cold one after work. Yeah, not that kind of cold one
- [Caption] What's the baby trying to tell them? (Voting enabled)
- [Dumbass] Limo to strip club: $120. Seventy minutes with a stripper named Chastity: $960. Having a heart attack to avoid paying her: Priceless
- [Interesting] Dell is ready to sell OS X if Apple would allow them to build the hardware
- [Dumbass] WSOP 2006 winner has half of winnings frozen. Has moved down to the Really Small Blinds table
- [Spiffy] Deadspin introducing its inaugural Hall of Fame class today. Inductees include cheerleaders, Vikings, and dinosaurs, all with Leather
- [Misc] World Cup champion Azzurri fall 3-1 to France in rematch of the finals, and are in real danger of not qualifying for Euro 2008
- [Asinine] Half of high school football players will suffer a concussion this season, and one in three will have more than one in the same game. Doctors who scream boxing should be banned because of head injuries inexplicably silent
- [Obvious] Could Karl Rove and Ken Mehlmann be gay baiting to repress their own... how do you say... "tendencies?"
- [Stupid] ABC to air 9/11 "docudrama." Only problem is, ABC's counter-terrorism expert says it's bullshiat
- [Obvious] The Watergate that wasn't. Ain't that a biatch
- [Obvious] Hispanic voters pretty much invisible in Texas this election season
- [Obvious] So all those massive immigrant protests didn't actually portend a shift in political clout? Who knew?
- [PSA] Bush says that, five years later, we're still not safe. Forgets to mention that we never were, never will be and that's just the way life is
- [Obvious] Ahminabadmood seeks to purge "liberal and secular" university professors. Bush excited to have found common ground
- [PSA] A statistical view of how 9/11 changed the United States
- The Pope is an old girl with a penis; or not
- Question
- New GameLink/Manshop Director Affiliate Sales
- windows vista kicks ass!
- Need a video delivery expert
- Free Partner Accounts ~
- Video: SLC Mayor Blasts Bush
- run a gay program with free content?
- Just Registered (Mark Wolff)
- Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
- Taking Batch DVD Screen Grabs?
- Testing out Chameleon Confirmer for Free!
- New gay niches
- Fall Discounts + Massive Portfolio Update! Check it out!
- Gaybot
- Gaybot
- Ginger Spice Says Her Child Was Abused
- Illinois legislative seat likely to stay gay
- KKK not okay
- Schwarzenegger signs anti-bias bill
- Rupert faces the public
- Everett's hetero sexual liaisons
- Ellen DeGeneres in car crash
- Ex-gays storm Palm Springs
- ehehehehehe I just got an idea
- [Dumbass] Some video games may make you more social, according to report by two eternal virgins
- [Spiffy] Light-Emitting Shirts for the attention whore in all of us
- [Photoshop] Help Paramount enhance "Star Trek" -- photoshop some improvements you'd like to see in the series
- Stephen Hawking Looking for Assistant
- Daily Dirt - I don't even know, okay
- Digging though old OTF threads I find
- New campaign
- Oh god, can't breathe, laughing too hard...
- ... D:!
- no!
- For the love of God
- aegWER
- Death to newsbot!
- thread 34q[8-
- Push back the tyrant
- Death to newsbot 30308311961
- Moar
- moar!!!
- Wagh!
- On the horizon
- Down with teh newsbot
- Bump!
- I think I know how we can truly beat newsbot
- Cease fire cease fire!
- I do not fear newsbot
- I'm back
- Not gonna take it!
- Rebels cannot lose
- Important Plan!
- Oh
- [Asinine] Remember when the U.S. ousted the Taliban to make the Afghan people free? Yeah, not so much
- [Interesting] So what IF politicians had to wear their sponsors' logos the way racecar drivers do?
- [Obvious] "A survey of more than 4,000 Chinese professionals suggests provocative dress is regarded as the major cause of sexual harassment in the office"
- Xbox for Stroke Rehabilitation
- tbh
- [Dumbass] When a cops asks you to stop speeding in a school zone, it's best not roll the window up on his arm and speed off dragging him while your 7 and 13 year old kids watch from the back seat
- [Spiffy] Just when you thought the Braves corpse couldn't get stomped on any more, they lose doubleheader to Mets, shutout in second game by pitcher with 7.29 ERA coming in. *stomp, stomp, stomp*
- [Sick] Today's "Silliest name for a paedophile with a head shaped like a football" is... Gudni Snaebjornsson! (With genius pic)
- [Spiffy] Fizzum faz, ana haaaam #1, feeeeeeeeeel
- [Obvious] Kofi Annan leaves the Middle East having scored two successes, but only one if you don't count the fact the airline didn't lose his luggage
- [Cool] A step by step guide for taking naked pics of your girlfriend
- [PSA] ESPN: Duke sucks
- [Stupid] The Ford F-650 XUV: For the manhood-impaired that need more than what a Hummer can offer
- [Stupid] Of all the reasons not to shoot yourself, "At least Tom Sizemore doesn't have his own reality show" just got crossed off the list
- [Spiffy] Now's your chance: Name the new baby elephant at the Indianapolis Zoo -- post your suggestions here. Voting enabled
- [Amusing] Worst ways to get fired? Try these for starters, and add your own in the comments
- [Photoshop] Photoshop these subway seats
- [Amusing] A look at how modern movie monster Halloween costumes stack up to the real thing
- PhysX Performance Update: City of Villains
- [Obvious] "Clay Aiken has been appointed to serve on the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities." Obvious tags giggles uncontrollably
- Guides - A Guide to Understanding TV Metrics
- Oh god this is it
- Because of this newsbot crap
- PS3 worldwide launch
- Evening Screenshots
- Red Orchestra Patch Plans
- Foxconn arrives on VGA market
- Apple to delay Merom notebooks
- Intel pulls back from FB-DIMMs
- Cisco has a new logo
- Microsoft patents verb conjugations
- New chip just for AI
- Microsoft woman to teach Mozilla about security
- HP improves Integrity
- [Stupid] Paris Hilton charged with DUI. Not the first time she's blown over the limit
- Budweiser TV? - Broadband lets everyone run a network
- EU: Iran nuclear talks on Saturday
- Lompoc Wi-Fi Goes Live Friday - After delays and various setbacks
- African airlines push hard to tackle bad image
- Blair to confirm quitting, no date
- NATO general: More troops needed in Afghanistan
- Windows Vista RC1 Impresses Critics
- New bombings kill at least 11 in Baghdad
- Vista could hurt the Internet
- Apple upgrades iMacs
- Reveal secret prisons, EU tells U.S.
- The hardest part of the day is approaching...
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