[C3I] United Nations

[General Bordinko]

Use this thread for fluff and responses to Breaking News.

[ScAvenger001]

7TH CONFEDERATION PLEDGES AID, STABILIZATION TO FREEDONIA

Athens, 7CON - Febuary 20, 2012 - With the sudden and devastating economic collapse of their larger neighbor of Freedonia, the Seventh Confederation has declared its intent to bring humanitarian relief and stabilization to the beleagured nation. At a press conference held in 7Con's capital of Athens, Confederate leaders outlined their plan for a peacekeeping force to ensure that the situation does not deteriorate further.

"Unfortunate as it is," said a Ministry of Defense spokesman, "we have to regard Freedonia as a failed state. The economy has been reduced to barter levels, and the government has largely vanished, even down to relatively basic infrastructural support. Public services are being kept aloft by brave citizens volunteering their own time for the general good. It is our considered opinion that massive destabilization with all the civil unpleasantness that implies are only days away without massive outside support."

King ScAvenger I also addressed the situation: "It is clear that not one single member of the Freedonian government actually gave a damn about the country. Even the military, usually a country's source of pride in tough times, seems to have evaporated almost completely. With the rampant corruption and, frankly, painful number of political appointees among the officer corps, I'm sad to say that I'm not really surprised. These men were loyal to the Dollar, and without that they showed their true colors and their loyalty to nothing."

MOD officials have explained that the deployment of military forces to Freedonia, an action codenamed "Operation Modest Genius," is purely a stop-gap to keep the peace while regular police units can be reorganized, although the Confederate Engineers brigades do intend to assist in some public works projects as they move through their assigned areas. Large scale deployments are not expected to last more than three months.

Another MOD spokesman said, "We're moving troops in not because we're expecting that degree of force to be necessary, but because there needs to be some kind of direct authority on the ground. While we certainly applaud GTS' efforts on behalf of the people of Freedonia, their economy needs to be fully kickstarted and that simply can't be done without assuming responsibility for the country. Anything less is just delaying the inevitable."

Experts from the Royal Economists Society, a major think tank operated by the royal family, have suggested that using 7Con resources to stabilize the Freedonian economy could ultimately be to the great benefit of both countries. Freedonia contains several important transportation hubs that, with the investment of 7Con resources, could revitalize the tourist trade for several nearby cities on both sides of the border.

--Seventh Confederation Bureau, OTFN

[ScAvenger001]

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[General Bordinko]

Talk freely about current events in here.

[General Bordinko]

First air battle of the war.

Fork/Polish defending Fall Attacking

Fork/Polish:
34 Kills 18 aircraft lost.
Survivors:
10th Bomb Squadron "Black Eagles" F-15E (Both Aircraft)

Fall:
27 Kills, 20 aircraft lost.
3rd Kampffleugzeug : SU-27 (Both Aircraft)
6th Begleitjäger : MiG - 27 (One Aircraft)
8th Begleitjäger : MiG - 27 (One Aircraft)

[Kills = how many missiles hit targets, some missiles hit the same targets]
264 Missiles fired.

[General Bordinko]

Satellite lintel from the battle of 2-11

Fall is winning right now beating Commy's forces. in turn 4 of 25.

[Fallschirmjager]

Sturm Waffenfabrik declares WAR on Lechia!!!


"The great nation of Sturm Waffenfabrik has declared a state of war upon Lechia and any of it's allies. The constant border incidents, despite our allegiance, has led us to distrust you. Three of these incidents left several soldiers wounded. Among other constant aggressive acts, most importantly was the attack on our radio station yesterday.

Justice for these misdoings will be swift, and your nation shall soon be annexed. My people fully back this decision and will fight to the death to make themselves safe from the nation of Lechia! Join us and fight for your well being!!!"

--This was found in a propaganda pamphlet dropped on Lechian territory. As it stands, a state of war exists between these two nations, with the outcome not yet decided. Conflict erupted early this morning. Hopefully this conflict can be resolved with minimal loss of life, but currently the war rages and casualties cannot be determined.

"A surprise attack on a military radio station named Sender Gleiwitz has been interpreted by all as an act of war. We no longer feel your foul democratic state has the right to exist."
-CiC of Sturm Waffenfabrik, yesterday evening.

[MatthewMarchand]

Totenkopf supports their long time ally, Sturm Waffenfabrik.

"Any act of war against one of our allies, is an act of war against us. Such acts will not be tolerated, and will be dealt with swiftly" Said the Chancellor of Totenkopf earlier this morning.

"We have a bond with the people of Sturm Waffenfabrik, and an alliance that dates back over 100 years. We will not sit idly by, while civilians are bombed in their homes. We will not rest, until the plague of Lechia has been removed." Said Feldmarshal Koenig, Chief of Deffence staff for the military of Totenkopf.

As of today, a state of war exists between Totenkopf, Lechia, and her allies.

[BAS]

wait so fallshcrim is fighting commy AND polish hill?

[DasHuhn]

Huhnland Saddened by Sturm Waffenfabrik's Attack; Offers Peace Talks

Feburary 21st, 2012 - Ffffuuuu, Huhnland - The top segments of Huhnland's government have stated that they were deeply saddened to hear of Sturm Waffenfabrik's malicious and unwarranted attack on Lechia. One of the Chancellor's advisors, who asked to speak on a condition of anonymity, expressed Huhnland's wish to provide war refugees status to any person impacted by Sturm Waffenfabrik's attack.

It is also strongly rumored that Chancellor DasHuhn is going to invite both the leaders of both combatant nations to Huhnland as a neutral site for peace negotiations. Sources claim that Chancellor DasHuhn hopes the peace talks would take place in Huhnland's capital city, Fffffuuuuu.

Chancellor DasHuhn said "Hopefully these nations will be able to find peace in a reasonable time frame - in these troubled times, leaders of the world should band together to help each other out, not to fight each other. Today is a dark day for the world."

[Captain Colon]

i'm going to assassinate all of you hippie fags

[Polish Hill]

President Polish Responds to Sturm Waffenfabrik Attacks


Feburary 21st, 2012 Undisclosed, Lechia - From a small room where the Presidential seal of Lechia is displayed prominently President Polish strides to the podium, a morose look on his face.

"Fine citizens of Lechia, our allies and friends, and all others who may be listening throughout Ares. It has long been our goal to preserve and foster peace but the incidents of last night have forced our hands. The acts of terror and hubris by our neighbors to the east will not go unpunished. They fabricate incident to justify their actions when a land grab on an unsuspecting nation is all they truly intend. Peace talks were in place before this incident and it proves that all the dishonorable CiC says is suspect. I implore all nations involved with the lowly Sturm Waffenfabrik reexamine their negotiations and question how strong of a bond it truly is."

The screen fades to blue with the President's voice still overheard.

"The proceeding are messages sent from Sturm Waffenfabrik days before their massacre on our land."

December 17th, 2009, 01:40 AM The nation of Sturm Waffenfabrik graciously agrees with this proposition. We hope that our agreement may last, so that our peoples may prosper and learn from eachother.

December 17th, 2009, 07:28 PM To the CIC of the Nation of Lechia : Please inform us of your negotiations with the People's Republic of Kvaltia, if any. If you can determine that they are a peaceful state, let us know. For now, we are viewing them as a potential threat not only to the safety of you and your people, but the safety of the entire area. Until you can determine this, our troops are ready to assist you in any forthcoming conflict you may find yourself embattled in.


-Fallschirmjager, CIC, Sturm Waffenfabrik.

Yesterday, 02:02 PM Well do you want to take Phobos? I'm ready to move, and there's no way they can stand against the combined might of our unified forces.


"Fortunately not all nations are fueled by the greed and dishonesty that Sturm Waffenfabrik is. With the help of the People's Republic of Kvaltia we will drive back this axis of evil. The people of Lechia ask all great nations to examine their relationships with Sturm Waffenfabrik and Totenkopf and ask whether or not theirs is one of opportunity. A bond of friendship today may be the precursor to an attack tomorrow."

The President strides away from the podium and the scene returns to the Lechia News Network studio. A seated man in a suit faces the camera with a look of concern on his face.

"And after that news it is likely that Lechia will be speaking with numerous nations about the situation. We'll have more information when it comes in. I'm Jack Henson and this is the Lechia National News."

-Lechia News Network

[BAS]

thats coldhearted PH lol

[ScAvenger001]

Due to confusion about where fluff and fluff discussion is supposed to go, Bordinko has said that I can merge the UN and Current Events threads. For clarity: everything goes here.

[General Bordinko]

Commie/Polish Hill/Fork's forces are withdrawing to 2-13 after a delaying fight for 2-12.

The first piece of land goes to Fall

W Germany = Fall
Russia = Commie/Polish/Fork

[fork]

so whats left of our forces? and were our abrams counted as abrams or some crappy russian tank?

[ScAvenger001]

Are you sure you want that question answered in a public thread? :p

[GrosPoisson]

Please, tell us more detailed information about the composition of the forces involved.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v149/GrosPoisson/relevant.jpg

[Captain Colon]

FYI polish/fork have abrams


well not anymore LOL

[Fallschirmjager]

fuck yeah cheap tanks with sweet guns. GOOD THING I TESTED MY FORCES BEFORE I PICKED THEM LOL

[General Bordinko]

The battle of 2-11

My... God.

W Germany = Fall
Russia = Commie/Polish/Fork

This ran from 8:30 last night until 6 this morning

[CaptCommy]

fuck yeah cheap tanks with sweet guns. GOOD THING I TESTED MY FORCES BEFORE I PICKED THEM LOL

Good thing I still got a better k/d ratio considering what I spent on my units LOL. :rolleyes:

[Fallschirmjager]

Look at the post above yours :)

[CaptCommy]

I don't think you understand just how cheap my troops are.

[Fallschirmjager]

I don't think you understand how cheap MY troops are.

[Captain Colon]

you don't even know, man

this guy

[DasHuhn]

Too bad fallss tanks cost a hell of a lot more to replace than commies; love dat 100% additional cost for new divisions

[Fallschirmjager]

except I don't need to make new divisions to replace casualties, idiot. HURR DURR REINFORCE

[DasHuhn]

except if he kills your entire division hurr durr

[Fallschirmjager]

The only way that would happen is if I had them set on "to the death" or "not one step back". I don't see any reason to do that.

[BAS]

you could get encircled, no?

[Captain Colon]

yeah but what are they gonna encircle him with now :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

[Fallschirmjager]

Can't get encircled if my army beats his in direct combat, forming a hole in his line.

[General Bordinko]

W Germany = Fall
US = Polish/Fork

Superior SAMS and CAS let polish and fork hold their capitol.

[SWATJester_os]

You mean US, not russia?

[BAS]

Can't get encircled if my army beats his in direct combat, forming a hole in his line.

oops

[CaptCommy]

Combined HQ
Masovia, Lechia
February 21, 2012

It had begun.

Not a terrible surprise, to be honest. Certainly, peaceful overtures of cooperation had been made, trying to spin a clever illusion that war might somehow be avoided or delayed, but everyone involved (and half the international community besides) knew that it was no more than a farce. The red dots blinking across the tactical map on the wall were proof enough of that.

General Kalashnikov, representing the People's Army of Kvaltia, began to feel the familiar pre-battle jitters. Something always went wrong somewhere, and even though the bustling sounds in the war room didn't betray any immediate problems that only meant the other shoe had yet to drop. For now, though, everything was going according to plan: Lechian Air Force jets were already intercepting the incoming planes, and missiles were beginning to fly back and forth as they danced their dance of death.

Here was a rub, though: C-130s. Not wholly unanticipated, but just as unwelcome, heavy air transports meant a paratrooper assault directly on the capital. Kalashnikov quietly wished the Patriot operators well. Even as he did so, more red dots appeared as the main front began to open on the eastern border, and reports of enemy armor started to pour into the command center. And this is the point where General Kalascnikov's spine started to chill, as the proverbial shoe made a dull thump: six PAK divisions arrayed for the defense of the capital were rushing with all speed toward the border, abandoning the plan to let the heavier Lechian units take the brunt of that assault. What the...?

Kalashnikov turned toward an aide. "Just what the hell are those units doing? II Corps and IV Corps are meant to counterattack against any enemy moves toward the capital, not go charging into the first ground engagement they see!" he roared. "They'll take greater losses against heavier ground units without proper support."

The aide saluted, and then frantically searched through his clipboard for current force deployments and dispositions. Then, gulping quietly, he turned back to the general.

"I'm terribly sorry sir. The order to counterattack was not specified toward the capital. As far as those units are aware, they're meant to engage any enemy forces that enter their striking range."

"Damn. Can we recall-- no." No indeed, both units were already heavily engaged against much more modern Waffenfabrik units. "They'll just have to do their best, then. I can wish that they were fighting those paras all I want, but that won't make it happen. Godspeed, soldiers."

[Fallschirmjager]

CIC of Sturm Waffenfabrik lowers himself to petty insults!
"Eat a bag of dicks, both of you!", in reference to the two leaders of the foreign nations he's currently at war with. - CiC of S. Waffenfabrik early this morning, suffering from an obvious hangover.

[General Bordinko]

You mean US, not russia?

Yeah it was getting late.

[General Bordinko]

Two more battles to run then we can start week two.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[Fallschirmjager]

oops

lol cheap airborne divisions dropped behind his lines shut up fag

[fork]

as said from not one of arnolds best movies...

"stay out of [lechia]. it's not your country!"

[Fallschirmjager]

GIVE DEEZ PeOPLE AIR.

It's going to be my country, just you wait. LEBENSRAUM.

[General Bordinko]

Battle of the Bridgehead (3-20) result:

Bloody

W Germany = Fall
Russia = BAS/ScAv

[BAS]

One thing you dont get from that screenshot is the fact I won. While I had the lower score, fall was completely annihilated.

[Fallschirmjager]

I also had only one division there :) Enjoy getting raped by the rest of my forces.

[Captain Colon]

One thing you dont get from that screenshot is the fact I won. While I had the lower score, fall was completely annihilated.
But at what cost man, AT WHAT COST????

[ScAvenger001]

Presidential Conference Room, Government House
Cinigrad, Union of Yuktobanian Republics
February 15, 2012

It was an astounding collection of political power for a single room in a single building. The bodyguards in black suits had entered first, of course: even nominally friendly nations take no chances with each other and, well, accidents do happen. Each group of guards took up positions around a different corner of the enormous mahogany conference table that dominated the center of the room.

After them, those who ruled their respective nations made their way to the padded leather seats. A stout, balding man of about fifty, the President of Lechia took the first chair he came to, sweating slightly in his suit despite the air conditioning and looking around nervously. From another door came the plump, smiling Chairman of the Communist Party of the People's Republic Of Kvaltia. He nodded to the President and heavily took his seat. A non-descript man of perhaps seventy years entered then, his ivory cane in beating rhythmically against the floor. His ordinary black suit belied his true position: That of the Sovereign King of the Seventh Confederation.

Finally, the man who had called the meeting entered. His thick, black moustache made him easily recognizable as the President of the Politburo of the Union of Yuktobanian Republics. He had called this meeting of allies and potential allies, and always maintained a friendly demeanor. "Gentlemen. Let us not waste time: our corner of the world has begun to show cracks, and these cracks must be more than simply papered over. A threat to the peace of one of us threatens all of us. We are here to discuss an alliance between our four countries, a strong alliance that will stand against whatever the world may throw at us."

"There is no doubt in my mind, or in the minds of Lechian Intelligence, that Sturm Waffenfabrik has designs on Lechian territory," the President of Lechia announced suddenly. "There have been considerable force redeployments near the southern half of our shared border, military message traffic has increased steadily over the last few weeks, and intercepted traffic between Sturman embassies elsewhere has all but confirmed some sort of aggressive action in one direction or another. We cannot afford to stand for this. Can any of us afford to tolerate this sort of militarism? If our industrial base falls into the hands of a country whose very name means armaments manufacture, it will only be a matter of time before they turn their greedy eyes to the rest of you, and the rest of the Archipelago."

The Chairman of Kvaltia wobbled in his chair and rapped his knuckles on the table in front of him. "Hear hear. Although I have some concerns about my own far borders, there's a grave difference between a concern and the reality of immediate action. You can count on our support, Mr. President, as you always have in the past. That said, we should keep our grander alliances secret for now. It would not do to scare the rest of the world down onto us after all."

The King of the Seventh Confederation cleared his throat and adopted a thoughtful expression while leaning back in his chair. "Although I agree with everything that's been said, and of course I deplore aggressive military action, there are two factors I wish to raise. The lesser of these is that my government currently has a nonaggression agreement with Sturm Waffenfabrik. Not just for political reasons but for moral ones as well, we cannot be party to opening hostilities against even a nominally friendly nation. Of course, its different if they attack an ally of ours."

"Even a quiet ally?" The Kvaltian gave the monarch a sidelong glance.

"Quiet allies are still allies. The other problem I face is Freedonia. My analysts, and almost all of the international community other than the Freedonians themselves, agree that they're at most two weeks away from total economic collapse. This forces me to be ready to stabilize them very quickly, because if I don't then 7Con will be elbow-deep in refugees a week after that. Although I do not see movement in that direction as a military action, some part of my forces will still need to be committed there, especially since only last night I received a message from Sturm Waffenfabrik: they're very sorry, but they must withdraw the resources they had previously pledged to this operation. No doubt so that they can send those resources westward to blow you to bits. In any case, given their current buildup, we may not be able to trust them much longer."

"I see. It could be the Yuktobania can solve these problems." The head of the Politburo cleared his throat. "Our position regarding Sturm Waffenfabrik is that we are rapidly losing patience with their continued oppression of their laborers. Of course we have already made some arrangements with Kvaltia who in turn will vouch for Lechia, so I would like to propose that the Yuktobanian military support your operations in Freedonia, and we will have... an understanding. "

"Oho," The aged king chuckled. "That works out quite well. Thank you for your support, Mr. President. And yes, in that case, 7Con will be happy to join this alliance and support Lechia and Kvaltia in self defense against any outside aggressors."

"We are all agreed, then." The black moustache lifted in a smile as stewards bearing bottles of vodka entered. "Our four countries shall be mutual allies from this time forth, and anyone who wants to destroy the prosperity we will bring will have to answer to our combined might. Gentlemen: to peace!"


*****

Four Nations Unveil Alliance
Kvaltia, Lechia, 7Con, Yuktobania announce IRON

Feb. 27 2012 - Athens, 7Con - Today, four embattled nations have announced their membership in an alliance meant to head off further expansionism in their region.

The People's Republic of Kvaltia, Lechia, the Seventh Confederation, and the Union of Yuktobanian Republics are now publicly known as members of the Independent Republics of the North, or IRON. Although this alliance was reportedly formed some time previously, aggressive action by Sturm Waffenfabrik has convinced the IRON leaders that the time was ripe to publicly announce the pact.

Only last week, war officially began between Sturm Waffenfabrik and Lechia, supported the People's Republic of Kvaltia when units of the Waffenfabrik military assaulted and broke through the Lechian border. An Airborne attack on the capital of Masovia was reppelled, however the city is still under siege.

"Peace, as they used to say, is our profession," said a Yuktobanian general who preferred not to be named. "Sturm Waffenfabrik threatens that peace, so we're here to show them that our great nations do not stand alone. Together, we are more than the sum of our parts."

This announcement comes on the heels of a large Yuktobanian force entering Sturm Waffenfabrik from the 7Con border, supported by large elements of the 7Con Air Force. Yuktobanian units had already been offering support for 7Con's peacekeeping efforts in troubled Freedonia. Stay tuned for OTFN's continuing coverage of military operations in the northern archipelago.

--Seventh Confederation Bureau and Lechian affiliates, OTFN

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g38/ScAvenger001/ironflag2.png

[Captain Colon]

wow the news is run by the lechians

FAIR AND BALANCED :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Fallschirmjager]

why is everyone invading me what kind of faggot shit is this

[ScAvenger001]

Maybe if you tried harder not to bomb our allies, we'd be trying harder not to bomb you.

[General Bordinko]

I love the flag.

[GrosPoisson]

why is everyone invading me what kind of faggot shit is this

No Munich Agreement in this gameworld, kamarade :cat:

[Captain Colon]

looks like there's gonna be a kick grospoisson's ass agreement at this rate :arr: :arr: :arr: :arr:

[Fallschirmjager]

Maybe if I wasn't busy jerking off instead of directing my troops, i'd be doing BETTER

[GrosPoisson]

looks like there's gonna be a kick grospoisson's ass agreement at this rate :arr: :arr: :arr: :arr:

More like good luck getting across the map to me AMIRITE :panda:

[Captain Colon]

no u r not rite

[CapnAsshat]

Maybe if I wasn't busy jerking off instead of directing my troops, i'd be doing BETTER

this

[Fallschirmjager]

you guys are all gay for quadruple penetrating my lines. Your balls all touched.

[MatthewMarchand]

You have one warning to leave Fal alone, or the hammer falls. (fals ololo)

If your invasion continues, you will face the repercussions.

[Captain Colon]

But it was too late, for satellite recon showed that the fatties had already begun to pay for their grave crimes against the pretty people of Ares:

http://www.offtopicbutts.com/wat.jpg

WOLVERINES!!!

[Captain Colon]

SKYNET claims another victim!

http://www.offtopicbutts.com/Untitled.jpg

[GrosPoisson]

Daaaaaaaaaaaang. Who's the poor bastard getting hammered by A-10s?

[Fallschirmjager]

DON't WORRY ABOUT IT, TRAITOROUS SCUM.

[Captain Colon]

some disgusting kvaltian fatties probably

[GrosPoisson]

Fatties buy armor because they can't walk I guess.

[General Bordinko]

The Battle of 1 -40

This was so big it had to be cut up into two fights

USMC = Colon
Soviets = Commy


Colon Losses
Men 167
Arty 0
Soft Veh 0
APC's 0
AFV 52
Air Trans/Helos 0
Aircraft 7

Commy Losses
Men 2173
Arty 0
Soft Veh 0
APC's 190
AFV 316
Air Trans/Helos 0
Aircraft 0

A-10's are the greatest CAS bird ever.

[Captain Colon]

A grand victory for the heroic (and heroic-looking) forces of Noblax.

http://www.theblogofrecord.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/american-soldier-meeting-female-russian-officer-seoul-1945.jpg

As you can see, the locals are quite enthusiastic about our presence. We hope to have the entire nation liberated from their buck-toothed tyrants within the month.

[Fallschirmjager]

Sturm Army marches on Lechian Capitol!!!

The Grand Armed Forces of Sturm Waffenfabrik march on Masovia, the pride of Lechia. This will be the end of a campaign that's been planned for months.


http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/course/79-104/Readings/Gallery/Gallery1/HWC1032.jpg
- The expected resistance.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2308/2471685907_6065e45a76.jpg
- How the city shall look when it is refurbished and all citizens are given modern amenities.

[Polish Hill]

OOC: If only Colon and Fall were as talented at roleplaying as they were attacking neighbors this would be a great thread

[Fallschirmjager]

Roleplaying is faggotry.

P.S. your army sucks.

[General Bordinko]

In a daring move Fall's forces have encircled the city of Masovia. The LDF and Kvaltia Army had to withdraw from the city after brutal fighting.

US Army = Polish/Fork/Commie
Germany = Fall

When I say the city was burning it really was burning.

[GrosPoisson]

The Battle of 1 -40

This was so big it had to be cut up into two fights

USMC = Colon
Soviets = Commy


Colon Losses
Men 167
Arty 0
Soft Veh 0
APC's 0
AFV 52
Air Trans/Helos 0
Aircraft 7

Commy Losses
Men 2173
Arty 0
Soft Veh 0
APC's 190
AFV 316
Air Trans/Helos 0
Aircraft 0

A-10's are the greatest CAS bird ever.

Holy SHIT. Commence the panic-buying of air superiority fighters and mobile SAMs amirite :cat:

[Captain Colon]

Funny thing about that...I had another few groups running CAP in the area as well, so unless you go and buy at least 4-6 full groups of the latest and greatest (and most expensive), the best you'll be able to do is thin out the herd a bit and leave some more for the ground forces to slay, and then you have to pay for new fighters that get shot down too :cool:

OOC: If only Colon and Fall were as talented at roleplaying as they were attacking neighbors this would be a great thread
Lechia PM falls ill
Noblax News Network (NNN) - 4 hours ago

Masovia, Lechia - Reports from top cabinet members state that the Prime Minister of Lechia is suffering from a rare and serious condition known as butthurt. "This is one of the worst cases I've ever seen" reports one of the Minister's medical team, speaking under condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the Minister's anus.

Learn more about butthurt. (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Butthurt)

Preparation H® Cream with Maximum Strength Pain Relief helps relieve pain on contact, provides a soothing layer of protection, and temporarily shrinks swollen hemorrhoidal tissue. (http://www.preparationh.com/)

[GrosPoisson]

Funny thing about that...I had another few groups running CAP in the area as well, so unless you go and buy at least 4-6 full groups of the latest and greatest (and most expensive), the best you'll be able to do is thin out the herd a bit and leave some more for the ground forces to slay, and then you have to pay for new fighters that get shot down too :cool:

You're not supposed to tell them that, you wait for them to buy the shoddy aircraft and SAMs first!

Grosnya Alarmed by Butthurt PM
Big Fish News (BFN) - 2 hours ago

Natatoria, Grosnya - Recent news of Lechia's Prime Minister suffering from a severe case of butthurt has sent Grosnian health officials into a flurry of activity.

"We have no idea how this condition spreads, or how to treat it, but that's not going to stop the inevitable panic and possible overwhelming of our fragile healthcare system," said top Grosnyan health official Piotr Grouperovich. "You should've seen what happened last time when there was a rumor mad cow disease was going around, people were making runs on pharmacies and doctor's offices for stomach medicine. Stomach medicine! It made no sense then, it makes no sense now, and I'm worried about what our less-informed citizens will do about this latest health scare."

Grosnya's chief of staff Marina Flounderovna assured the nation in a televised news conference earlier today that the President was, quote "Doing just fine and calmly spent another evening drinking while watching reality television and trying to get the family cat to roll over. There are no indications he has come down with butthurt." She later went on to say "Of course, the butthurt of a fellow democracy concerns us, and we will do all we can should the butthurt spread to the citzens of Lechia. The possibility of a butthurt pandemic affecting the region would be disastrous, especially considering the recent instability Val Verde and Freedonia."

When we asked Grosnya's top military commander at the Grosnya Central Command facility, General Nikolas Marlinoff, if butthurt could affect the ability of the Grosnyan military to carry out their duties he had this to say:

"What kind of question is that? If they're butthurt, it's not like it'll affect our secret divisional organization of... oh, you sneaky reporters, trying to get me to say things I shouldn't. Get out of here! If any of my troops get butthurt, well, they'll just have to deal with it." General Marlinoff proceed to lower a pair of dark sunglasses over his eyes as he finished his sentence, and our reporter was unceremoniously hauled off the premises. -BFN

[Fallschirmjager]

must. spread... buttheart

[General Bordinko]

Imperial Suite, Grand Totenkopf Hotel
Guderian, Totenkopf
Febuary 23, 2012

The girl looked around with wide-eyed amazement as James led her gently into the marbled suite. She had probably been dimly aware that such places existed for the important and influential, but never dreamed that a lowly embassy secretary like herself might find her shoes tapping softly against the floors of so palatial a room.

James himself wasn't as bothered about the surroundings. They were purely for the girl's benefit, although the slight scent of vanilla left by the housekeeping staff was a nice touch. Black marble with alabaster trim and polished brass fittings were nothing new to him, nor was bluffing his way past hotel desk clerks.

In all honesty, girls like this one, smooth-skinned beauty though she was, were nothing new to him either. He couldn't even remember this one's name, although he was sure she had told him. It wasn't really important. James was far more interested in the slim, suede purse she had set on the bedside table as he brought her in. Even very low level embassy staffers always had some kind of security clearances, and his particular talents of bluster and audacity had become legendary for their ability to turn those small wedges into cracks big enough to fit himself through.

As he kissed the girl, the taste of the martinis they'd shared mingling seductively with the scent of her perfume, he mentally reviewed the upcoming operation. As long as he could get himself in the door, James could generally find out what he needed to know and get the information out again. He enjoyed his work, fast-talking his way past guards and sneaking through shadows, with plenty of other forms of excitement besides. The guards in this case might be particularly tricky, government soldiers were usually very keen and--

"James?"

Ah yes, he reminded himself as he pushed her lightly onto the bed. Business before pleasure.

[Arttemis]

Spy sappin' matt's sentry

[BAS]

uh I think its matt's spy....the embassy in question is in HIS country

[Arttemis]

whatever, I just wanted to be the first one to make a sappin' mah sentry joke

[ScAvenger001]

FREEDONIA CAPITAL RENAMED

Minsk, Freedonia - March 3, 2012 - Addressing the citizens of 7Con-occupied Freedonia from their capital yesterday afternoon, General Camden of the 7th Confederation Army announced that part of the restructuring plan for the country would involve returning the city's ancestral name of "Minsk."

"This country has a proud people with a proud history, and it's something that the Seventh Confederation is pleased to join to its own," he said from the steps of Farthing Palace, Freedonia's former seat of government. "This city is part of that history, and the first step of shaking off the more recent troubles is to return it to its roots. The egocentric former rulers of Freedonia have had their turn, but the sooner we can put their excesses behind us, the sooner we'll be able to return Freedonia to her proper glory. Besides, Dinkopolis is a silly name."

--7th Confederation Bureau, Minsk annex, OTFN

[General Bordinko]

20 miles outside of Letsynia
The Imperium
Feb. 26, 2012

"Tell me where the troops are going," James demanded.

The ugly Imperium major he was talking to, facing the other way, spat on the gravel. A brave move, considering how deeply the muzzle of James' PPK was jammed into the side of his neck. Even braver when the soldiers surrounding them were taken into consideration, riddled with holes as they were. The smell of gunpowder lingered in the air in spite of the evening breeze, but James fixed his concentration on getting the answer he wanted.

Well, it wasn't as if he'd expected it to be easy. The man was a line officer, after all, not another political appointee coward. James hated such crass things as improvised torture, but heroes had to be dealt with and it was only a matter of time before more soldiers arrived. Quickly shifting his aim, James shot the man in the calf and held him on his knees by the back of his uniform's collar with the gun against his head and one foot ready to apply painful pressure to the wound.

"Tell. Me. Where. They're. Going."

"Hurrgh, piss off," the officer ground out. James started to lean into the man's leg when he heard the sound of many boots crunching hurriedly up the gravel road where he'd ambushed the officer's party. Out of time, but he had to escape if he was going to be able to try again.

He shot the man and leapt into the tall grasses beside the road. It wasn't over yet...

[ScAvenger001]

Phobos Must Fall! Drive On, Deimos!

For immediate release

Cinigrad, UYR - Mar. 5 2012 - At a joint press conference held in the Yuktobanian capital, all four IRON nations have collectively and immediately declared their firm political support for the government and people of Deimos against the Phobian aggressor. Due to not only ideological, but moral differences with the psychotic government of Phobos, their continued existence as an independent entity is not something that can be tolerated.

When asked if they were concerned about the possibility of a military response from Phobos, the 7Con spokesperson said "well, they have militias at any rate. Apparently armed with flamethrowers."

The spokesperson's aide added, "So the entire population of Phobos took some crazy pills?"

Much of the later part of the press conference was spent discussing the UN's stance on this issue, and how they are likely to be as ineffectual in this case as they have been with other situations around the globe, notable Sturm Waffenfabrik's unprovoked invasion of Lechia. Insider sources close to the Secretary General are known to have quoted: "Lechia? Lead by Prime Minister Spork? Fuck them."

[General Bordinko]

Well. Götterdämmerung.

W Germany - Fall (Wut Sprut?)
Russia - Commy (Did not want those divisions anyway.)

I still need to finish up Fall v Polish/Fork but I am tired and going to bed.

[Fallschirmjager]

You'll never take it back.

[General Bordinko]

This battle is brutal.

[General Bordinko]

The battle is over. Fallschirmjager holds.

On to what. I do not know.

[GrosPoisson]

Grosnya Announces Support for Deimos
Big Fish News (BFN) - 1 hour ago

Natatoria, Grosnya - In an emergency press conference earlier today, President Slavenko Sharkoff pledged military aid to the nation of Deimos, currently embroiled in a destructive conflict with its neighbor Phobos.

"The Republic of Grosnya cannot stand by idly while a fellow democracy is attacked in such an unwarranted manner. We will make available what military forces we can spare and still maintain our own nation's security in these uncertain times."

The President was unavailable to take any questions from the press, the only interruption coming shortly after finishing his address when the family cat suddenly jumped up on the podium and rubbed up against the array of microphones, causing what can best be described as horrendous feedback of the earsplitting variety. President Sharkoff said nothing, but did direct a rather unpleasant glare in the general direction of where his staff was sitting off to the side.

It is worth noting that this is not the first in what are now popularly known as "cat gaffes." Unnamed Grosnyan officials have confirmed there are now appointed "cat minders" whose sole task is to prevent (or attempt to to prevent, if today's occurrence is any indication) the presidential family's cat from interfering in public functions or otherwise being "a huge faggot" as President Sharkoff once said in an unguarded moment a few weeks ago, unaware cameras were still rolling. The "faggot cat" reference has been surprisingly popular domestically, with local internet entrepreneurs selling ringtones of the phrase set to instrumental clips of popular songs. -BFN

[BAS]

Yuktobania Condemns Nuclear Attack on It's Soil
Several Orphanages vaporised

Cinigrad, UYR. The President of the Politburo of the Union of Yuktobanian Republics has condemned last night's Nuclear attack in the southwestern province of Jilachi. In a short press conference moments ago, the President said that many thousands of children were burned to death in a small villiage in the remote territory. He also promised a great vengeance upon those who dare make such an attack.

Reports from the area indicate a massive Imperium troop presence was caught in the blast. At this point it is unknown why Imperium troops were on Yuktobanian soil. - CNN

[GrosPoisson]

Arrests Made in Connection to Capitolium Attack
Big Fish News (BFN) - 5 minutes ago

Natatoria, Grosnya - Grosnyan federal police along with a Ravenwood Personal Security Detail responsible for the security of the Capitolium have arrested one of the attackers involved. Although initial reports suggested the identity of the attackers as being Phobian separatists, it has just been announced and verified by Grosnyan central military command that there is evidence implying Imperial involvement. Whether further arrests will be made is uncertain, as the Capitolium itself is cordoned off at the current time due to heavy fighting, and exchanges of gunfire can still be heard near the center of Natatoria.

With an already tense situation in the north, the fighting between Phobos and Deimos, and the nuclear attack in Yuktobania, it is likely this most recent attack on a civilian target will result in a military response. -BFN

[BAS]

Pa4EuylrKyk
One of our brave Yuktobanian Pioneers was out for an evening stroll with his new video camera, streaming the footage to his webpage.

[GrosPoisson]

Somewhere beneath Natatoria, President Slavenko Sharkoff addresses local and international media in a live satellite broadcast.

"Good evening my fellow Grosnyans, and all those who may be watching overseas. As you may know, our nation's seat of legislative government was attacked earlier tonight. Phobian separatists have claimed responsibility for this outrage, citing our pledge to the Demosian government as, quote, 'support for an unjust and oppressive tyranny which holds sway over land that is not rightfully theirs,' end quote. That they have resorted to such methods when our assistance to Deimos has yet to arrive speaks to the lows which these militants will go to try and break our resolve to help our neighbors in a time of need.

"We now have irrefutable evidence that this cowardly attack on the seat of our legislative government by Phobian separatists was aided and abetted by The Imperium. A joint operation involving the Grosnyan Federal Police and Ravenwood security has revealed the presence of Imperial agents, who helped the separatists into the country under the guise of a humanitarian NGO taking care of war refugees seeking asylum in our country. It has come as a great shock that this particular organization, Relief International, was involved, as in the past it has done much good for disadvantaged refugees escaping wars and conflicts in neighbouring nations.

"After a thorough search of the organization's offices, our nation's intelligence services have uncovered encrypted communications that passed back and forth between these Imperial agents and their handlers. These communications contained detailed reports on the security of the Capitolium, as well as other sites throughout Natatoria.

"We cannot let an attack of this magnitude go unpunished, and so the Republic of Grosnya is forced to declare war on The Imperium. Moments ago, the Grosnyan Congress unanimously voted in favor of a military response to this attack, which will commence immediately.

"It is our hope that this outbreak of hostilities will be over quickly, but at the same time we must all keep in mind that there must be a decisive ending to this conflict to prevent such an incident from occurring again. We welcome any and all assistance in our pursuit of peace. The Republic prevails."

President Sharkoff steps off the podium to thunderous applause and is quickly escorted out of the room by a mixture of military, police, and Ravenwood personnel.

*transmission ends*

[BAS]

shit just got real

This is CNN

[Captain Colon]

bas you are the worst role player stop ruining the game for everyone

[BAS]

ill ruin your face

[CapnAsshat]

i'll ruin your country's economy making you end up like somalia or nigeria

[ScAvenger001]

You and what army?

[GrosPoisson]

You know, the one that left those greasy outlines on the walls when the balloon went up.

[General Bordinko]

South Freedonia Airport
The Seventh Confederation
March 2, 2012


James put his sunglasses on as he stepped out of the little white charter plane and onto the tarmac. He'd always enjoyed airports, with their smells of avgas and de-icer and the continuous muted din of engines spinning up or winding down. Someone as attentive as James could learn so much about a country in just a few moments from the most mundane details. Economic health by the amount of traffic compared to the number of runways was only the simplest of these.

James quietly noted to himself the number of soldiers marching across the hangar area in the middle distance as he strode toward the black Land Rover and the blond man holding the "Universal Exports" sign. "I do believe you're here to pick me up," he told the man.

"Yes, sir, I've been waiting for you. After you've visited the office and conducted your business, will you be returning to the airport?"

"Yes, thank you." James smiled, watching politely as the man turned and opened the car's door for him. "Ultimately, I'm just passing through..."

[CapnAsshat]

You know, the one that left those greasy outlines on the walls when the balloon went up.

Yes, because I sent my entire military there to get nuked. I have no troops left whatsoever.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

For whoever launched it, I wish I could -rep you

[MatthewMarchand]

Imperial Suite, Grand Totenkopf Hotel
Guderian, Totenkopf
Febuary 23, 2012

The girl looked around with wide-eyed amazement as James led her gently into the marbled suite. She had probably been dimly aware that such places existed for the important and influential, but never dreamed that a lowly embassy secretary like herself might find her shoes tapping softly against the floors of so palatial a room.

James himself wasn't as bothered about the surroundings. They were purely for the girl's benefit, although the slight scent of vanilla left by the housekeeping staff was a nice touch. Black marble with alabaster trim and polished brass fittings were nothing new to him, nor was bluffing his way past hotel desk clerks.

In all honesty, girls like this one, smooth-skinned beauty though she was, were nothing new to him either. He couldn't even remember this one's name, although he was sure she had told him. It wasn't really important. James was far more interested in the slim, suede purse she had set on the bedside table as he brought her in. Even very low level embassy staffers always had some kind of security clearances, and his particular talents of bluster and audacity had become legendary for their ability to turn those small wedges into cracks big enough to fit himself through.

As he kissed the girl, the taste of the martinis they'd shared mingling seductively with the scent of her perfume, he mentally reviewed the upcoming operation. As long as he could get himself in the door, James could generally find out what he needed to know and get the information out again. He enjoyed his work, fast-talking his way past guards and sneaking through shadows, with plenty of other forms of excitement besides. The guards in this case might be particularly tricky, government soldiers were usually very keen and--

"James?"

Ah yes, he reminded himself as he pushed her lightly onto the bed. Business before pleasure.

Spy sappin' matt's sentry

uh I think its matt's spy....the embassy in question is in HIS country

Sorry broskis, ain't mine.

[MatthewMarchand]

Totenkopf to Support Phobos.

Although it is currently unclear as to what sort of help it will be, Totenkopf has announced today that it will offer its support to Phobos. Currently, they have announced economic sanctions against Deimos.

More as this story develops.

[GrosPoisson]

Yes, because I sent my entire military there to get nuked. I have no troops left whatsoever.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

I didn't say anything about your entire military, I was just loling at the fact you lost a fuckton of men and equipment. Awfully defensive on the subject though, aren't we? :cat:

[Fallschirmjager]

My penis has been erect for like 9 hours.

[fork]

you should have seen a doctor 5 hours ago. its going to fall off!

[BAS]

guys you're ruining the role play

[CapnAsshat]

guys you're ruining the fore play

fixed

[MatthewMarchand]

GPS/NAV system hacked

A spokesman for the ministry of defence today announced that Totenkopf bombers flew substantially off course and enaged friendly targets. An investigation is pending, and a source in the MOD speaking on conditions of anonimity stated that the GPS/NAV-ATTACK system had been hacked into, forcing the aircraft to fly the wrong course.

[BAS]

oops

[Fallschirmjager]

Matt, wtf are you doing?

[Arttemis]

Kupoton Announces Peacekeeping, Reconstruction Operations in Val Verde

"Val Verde and the Royal Kingdom of Kupoton have been the staunchest of allies as long as history can remember, kupo," spoke Prime Minister Arttemis of Kupoton at a press conference early this morning. "And that's a very long time!" He continued, "Unfortunately, the people of Val Verde find themselves in a state of anarchy and economic turmoil. I told them to invest in kupo nut futures, kupo, but they didn't listen to me."

The PM went on to announce his plans for "Operation Pom-Pom", a reconstruction program that he hopes will return stability to the region. "I've already dispatched some of Kupoton's best engineers on a mission to bring food, water, and other supplies to the impoverished Val Verdians. Upon their arrival, they will work to reconstruct the vital infrastructure of the nation, until such time as Val Verde can resume its own internal operations."

M. Mogki, Mognet Central

[CapnAsshat]

The black spot on BAS's map is where my shit got nuked I'm assuming?

By the way, next nuke that flies I'm going to step out. Takes all the fun out of it. Just like "Press a button, everyone on your side dies"

[Fallschirmjager]

The black spot on BAS's map is where my shit got nuked I'm assuming?

By the way, next nuke that flies I'm going to step out. Takes all the fun out of it. Just like "Press a button, everyone on your side dies"

agreed.

[CapnAsshat]

If I would've known there would be nukes in the first place, I probably wouldn't have joined.

You can't hug your children with nuclear arms mister

[Fallschirmjager]

lol

[Captain Colon]

mission accomplished

[Metalslug]

RISE TO POWER!
New leader emerges from the veil of darkness
Santa Cruz, Val Verde

In a glorious speech from his black armored Cadillac, Former Oil Tycoon Rodrigo B. Slug announces his ascent to power.

"As of March 9th 2012, I, Rodrigo B. Slug, is now the Supreme Commander of all Val Verde! My first act as Dictator is to rename my Nation's Capital to Santa Cruz. I will not need any help from So called 'Peace keepers.' Under my rule Val Verde will enter a golden age of prosperity and power! I will not discuss the gory details of my rise to power as of yet, when the fires die down and the mass graves are finally covered maybe I will release the facts, as of now I have a Cigar and Scotch that needs tending too. Adios me Amigo's"

Men and women of Val Verde openly wept and threw roses at the motorcade.

"We are saved! Saved!" One old women wept.

[GrosPoisson]

If I would've known there would be nukes in the first place, I probably wouldn't have joined.

I don't know about you, but in a game that's this open I would assume anything that is not explicitly stated to be impossible or off-limits has a possibility of happening. I didn't know if there would be terrorists or not, but lo and behold, my capitol got lit the fuck on fire.

[CapnAsshat]

True. Now I have to develop some sort of super-germ and drop it in a retaliatory attack.

[BAS]

As of Jan 7th 2010 Rodrigo b. Slug is now the Supreme Commander of all Val Verde! My first act as Dictator is to rename my Nation's Captial to Santa Cruz. I will not need any help from So called "Peace keepers" under my rule Val Verde will enter a golden age of prosperity and power!
I will not discuss the gory details of my rise to power as of yet, when the fires die down and the mass graves are finnally covered mayby i will release the facts, as of now i have a Cigar and Scotch that needs tending too.

Adios me Amigo's

who the fuck are you?

[Captain Colon]

Rodrigo b. Slug

[General Bordinko]

The United Nations recognize Rodrigo B. Slug as the legitimate leader of Val Verde as of Week 4.

[GrosPoisson]

Grosnya Announces Alliance with Val Verde
Big Fish News (BFN) - 1 hour ago

Natatoria, Grosnya - In yet another press conference, President Sharkoff announced the establishment of diplomatic relations with the formerly trouble nation of Val Verde. In recent months, Val Verde was rocked by economic collapse due to their decision to switch their currency from the Dinko to the US Dollar. However, it seems that Val Verde has finally achieved some measure of interim stability with the rise to power of one Rodrigo B. Slug. Secretary of State Filip Lampreyovich presented the official statement of Grosnyan government.

"In these troubled times, the Republic of Grosnya seeks to align itself with nations who can provide a mutually beneficial relationship, both economically and militarily. We see it as in our national interest to ally ourselves with the nation of Val Verde, as there is much our nations can do for one another. With their economy now in a more stable situation, we have cleared Grosnyan enterprises to invest in Val Verde. We hope a large influx of capital will help in their continued recovery, and preclude the possibility of a Freedonian-style collapse. Additionally, we have reached an agreement with the Val Verdian military to share their airbases, which will be invaluable in our military assistance mission to Deimos."

Word of the agreement has sent the Grosnyan commodity exchange into a frenzy, with prices of beef and pork reaching record levels.

"They love beef and pork, what can I say. I hear they eat a lot of sausage over there. One could even say they're hungry for sausage," stated a commodities trader who preferred to remain nameless. -BFN

[CapnAsshat]

I know it can only be one of three people that nuked me. One is an ally, one would be nuking himself, so that leaves one. I'm not just going to nuke based off of suspicion alone.

yet

[BAS]

maybe I really did nuke myself

[CapnAsshat]

you're just crazy enough I wouldn't be surprised :(

[GrosPoisson]

I know it can only be one of three people that nuked me. One is an ally, one would be nuking himself, so that leaves one. I'm not just going to nuke based off of suspicion alone.

yet

The Republic of Grosnya would like to point out that our military and political authorities have already shared information with the United Nations (Dinko) that rules out our involvement in the nuclear attack. We also shared this information with Yuktobania earlier, so they can vouch for our non-involvement.

[CapnAsshat]

maybe BAS really did nuke himself

[General Bordinko]

A devastating defeat

Noblax outmaneuvered and encircled the beleaguered forces of Kvaltia. Overpowered and outmatched the siege lasted throughout the night until air power reigned supreme. In the morning no member of the PRK Army was seen standing.

USMC = Colon
Russia = Commy

[CaptCommy]

Encirclement is retarded and broken, though I guess that seems to be a running theme with this game.

In other news, I now have much sympathy for Asshat.

[MatthewMarchand]

Thats what you get for bringing BTR-70s and T-72 to a modern battlefield.

[Captain Colon]

ya rly what did you expect

[MatthewMarchand]

Apparently no air defence either :/

[CaptCommy]

I expected that using a governmental advantage would make sense. MY BAD

[GrosPoisson]

My strategy was to blob shitty Soviet-era tanks and APCs with little to no supporting arms to prevent them from getting raped by airpower like what happened earlier. HOW COME I LOSE?

Nothing's broken except for your strategy. Here's what it boils down to: it's 1991, the Gulf War, Colon is the United States, and you are Saddam Hussein's Iraq. Here's a related picture:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v149/GrosPoisson/Demolished_vehicles_line_Highway_80.jpg

Air power is kinda important these days.

[General Bordinko]

lol

[CaptCommy]

Except they all plenty of AA and artillery. It's just apparently not the right kind for the fucking video game.

Wasn't expecting decisive victories, just not losses on an almost 5:1 scale.

Edit: Let's not forget any planes with ground ordinance cost DOUBLE for me. Kinda affects how I build an army.

[GrosPoisson]

Except they all plenty of AA and artillery. It's just apparently not the right kind for the fucking video game.

1) You bought shitty, old Soviet AA, didn't you?

Edit: Let's not forget any planes with ground ordinance cost DOUBLE for me. Kinda affects how I build an army.

2) What does double cost planes with ground ordnance have to do with building air superiority fighters that would rape A-10s?

[Captain Colon]

Edit: Let's not forget any planes with ground ordinance cost DOUBLE for me. Kinda affects how I build an army.
Let's not forget that nobody knows what your advantages/disadvantages are unless someone is a blabbermouth :cool:

[CaptCommy]

Uh, I'd be surprised if anyone didn't know pretty much all of the government advantages/disadvantages by now.

I was just expecting this to be more game-like, where cost was a measure of performance. In most games, if a unit costs half as much, 2 of them should perform as well as 1 full cost, newer unit. I've since learned this is not so, as I'm sure everyone else listening to my bitching has as well. I'm really not super upset about losing, just my preconceptions about this game coming crashing down is frustrating.

[General Bordinko]

Hey this is the first iteration of the game so far. Everyone is learning and the rules will change for the next game.

[Captain Colon]

Uh, I'd be surprised if anyone didn't know pretty much all of the government advantages/disadvantages by now.

I was just expecting this to be more game-like, where cost was a measure of performance. In most games, if a unit costs half as much, 2 of them should perform as well as 1 full cost, newer unit. I've since learned this is not so, as I'm sure everyone else listening to my bitching has as well. I'm really not super upset about losing, just my preconceptions about this game coming crashing down is frustrating.
welcome to reality :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

[CaptCommy]

Hey this is the first iteration of the game so far. Everyone is learning and the rules will change for the next game.

I was under the impression this was stolen from another forum or something. Man, I've been an ass then. :kak:

[MatthewMarchand]

Steel Panthers doesn't fuck around. DAT MIL SIM

[GrosPoisson]

I was just expecting this to be more game-like, where cost was a measure of performance. In most games, if a unit costs half as much, 2 of them should perform as well as 1 full cost, newer unit. I've since learned this is not so, as I'm sure everyone else listening to my bitching has as well. I'm really not super upset about losing, just my preconceptions about this game coming crashing down is frustrating.

This game definitely rewards the military technology neckbeards among us, yeah.

[MatthewMarchand]

:cool: Blame me for Spruts...

[GrosPoisson]

SO OOPERATOR :cat:

[Fallschirmjager]

If we do an earlier era game, BMP1's all da way nigras

[Captain Colon]

This game definitely rewards the military technology neckbeards among us, yeah.
you'd think so, but SPMBT is a free download so really it's as easy as putting a billion of your "o this looks neat" thing against a billion abrams or challengers and seeing which one wins


which i didn't do on the assumption that nobody else would except fag neckbeards like fallschirm :cool:

[BAS]

you'd think so, but SPMBT is a free download so really it's as easy as putting a billion of your "o this looks neat" thing against a billion abrams or challengers and seeing which one wins


which i didn't do on the assumption that nobody else would except fag neckbeards like fallschirm :cool:

same

[CapnAsshat]

My vengeance is in the works as we speak. I don't have culprit yet, but once I do, it's gonna end in tears

and maybe consolation sex I don't know yet

[MatthewMarchand]

you'd think so, but SPMBT is a free download so really it's as easy as putting a billion of your "o this looks neat" thing against a billion abrams or challengers and seeing which one wins


which i didn't do on the assumption that nobody else would except fag neckbeards like fallschirm :cool:

Nope, I did it first and gave Fal the results to run his own tests. Overcome and adapt you faggots.

Besides Colon, your army was new enough that you didn't really need to test it.

[GrosPoisson]

My vengeance is in the works as we speak. I don't have culprit yet, but once I do, it's gonna end in tears

and maybe consolation sex I don't know yet

>Implying he has the means to do anything ever since SHIT GOT REAL

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v149/GrosPoisson/watdog.jpg

[CapnAsshat]

That's alright, you'll see

[General Bordinko]

14-22 air battle result
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00675/San-Diego-F18_6__675396a.jpg


Attacker JSF (F35B), Su-27, MiG-23B
Scav and commie lost 43 aircraft:
ScAv has 7 aircraft remaining from tigers claw, 5 remain from cerberus, and 1 remain from Yorktown
Commy has nothing left

Defender:F/A-18E Hornet, F-35 JSF

Colon lost 29 aircraft, with 3 remaining from the Val Kilmers

193 total missles fired

[Captain Colon]

ATTN: SCAvenger!

Please return your JSFs. They are meant for protecting freedom only and were not made to be used by dirty reds. Thank you!

http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1986_Top_Gun/986TGN_Val_Kilmer_006.jpg

[General Bordinko]

RIP

http://www.militarytimes.com/xml/entertainment/movies/military_afi_topgun_070709/topgun_800px.JPG

[CapnAsshat]

owned

[Fallschirmjager]

I'll call that a victory for the axis. Good job, Italy.

[GrosPoisson]

lul Mig-23s

[CaptCommy]

I had like 5 of the damn things. Didn't lose that much really.

[GrosPoisson]

That's true I guess, I mean it wasn't as bad as when

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v149/GrosPoisson/A-10_Thunderbolt_II_Gun_Run.jpg

HNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[General Bordinko]

Oh Canada!

Canada = MetalSlug/Denwad
Russia = BAS

[Fallschirmjager]

raaaaage

[BAS]

Coup in Yuktobania

Cinigrad, UYR

Churchbells are ringing in this ancient city for the first time in over fifty years today as hundreds of thousands of people take to the streets.
Mass celebrations are spreading throughout the Yuktobanian capital, for the Central Governemnt announced today the arrest of most of the upper echelon of Communist authorities.
In a stunning overnight coup, former Minister of Internal Security, General Basticlovich announced himself as the Supreme Yuktobanian Leader.

The new leader addressed his capital city in the square faceing the former Politburo building. A full battalion of Internal Security troops protected their master. "Fellow Yuktobanians! Your former masters dithered in the map room while your sons died on the battlefield! I vow that our brave soldiers will not die for nothing! Our enemies will once again know the fear and dread that is to face Yuktobanians in battle!"

Throughout the nation, reports of mass executions of former Party officials as well as Basticlovich-loyal henchman replacing them cannot be confirmed.

-International News Network

[Captain Colon]

http://rlv.zcache.com/rage_quit_tshirt-p235539462032064879t5tr_400.jpg

[Fallschirmjager]

He might have just changed his government type, dumbass.

[BAS]

Fallschirm, the voice of reason.

[Captain Colon]

that's dumb

[Fallschirmjager]

he learned his lesson in buying cheap ass russian shit. we should be proud.

[MatthewMarchand]

OLOLOL T-72s and BMP-2s OLOLOL.

Seriously bro, I know you got bonuses for that shit, but it just sucks so much dick.

[ScAvenger001]

It sucks more because, due to technical limitations, dinko can only simulate two divisions at a time. Thus, the overwhelming numbers advantage simply isn't accounted for, and the expensive units can take on the cheap ones a handful at a time.

This wasn't something that was known at the start of the game, and dinko has said that communism is basically broken to the point of unplayable, which is why BAS and Commy are being allowed to change government types for free.

[GrosPoisson]

So now that no one is a Communist government anymore, anyone care to post the advantages and disadvantages so we can understand what exactly was broken about it?

[ScAvenger001]

I'm not against it, but I want to make sure Commy's move is all properly official first.

[General Bordinko]

Commy has to yet change his government. If he does then showing the advantages have no problem. This is part of why im taking so long with week four.

[CaptCommy]

Oh, forgot you weren't in that chat Dinko. Sorry about that.

I'm officially changing to Democracy. Writing fluff tonight after dinner.

[ScAvenger001]

Ok then.

Government Advantages

Communism - no morale checks

Government Disadvantages

Communism - -3 to income of all held territories

Government Military Advantages

Communist - 50% off Late Cold War Era MBT's ((M1, T72B, Leopard 2A4's) 1990 Series and down), "Organic arty" 1 free arty battalion per division

Government military disadvantages

Communist - Cannot reinforce, airstrikes are 100% more expensive, troop quality -20

*****

Basically, they're able to buy twice as many third-rate soviet era tanks, but the extra numbers aren't nearly as helpful as you might think because of the way the simulation works, their troop quality is at 80% just in case the units themselves didn't suck enough, they're very low on air support, all reinforcements need to come up from the rear as freshly made units since units already at the front can't be repaired, and they can't afford reinforcements anyway since their base per-province income is about 2/5ths of everyone else's (except for BAS whose territory has a lot of mountains: income zero). The only tangible upside is the free artillery.

[CaptCommy]

So yeah, we're inherently poor, have shit for aircraft and troops. Really was based around massing crap, I was just never told until this thread it was 2 divisions vs 2 divisions.

[GrosPoisson]

Wow, that's shittier than I expected. Edit: Why wait to be told? I was constantly bombarding Tato and Dinko with PMs and the like exactly because I was always making decisions based on what their answers were.

[ScAvenger001]

It wasn't something anyone thought to ask until the game had already started.

[Captain Colon]

So basically you still could've bought modern equipment at the same price as anyone else, and you could've bought the Leopard 2A4 (which can compete just fine with modern MBTs, we tested it) instead of shitty T-72s at half the price everyone else would have to pay for them? Doesn't sound broken to me; just sounds like you got crappy equipment without much thought.

Not being able to reinforce is pretty dumb though. Good thing it doesn't matter when your division gets completely vaporized :cool:

[GrosPoisson]

It wasn't something anyone thought to ask until the game had already started.

Okay, so this is what I'm getting out of this discussion: certain players built their entire military biased towards quantity rather than quality and didn't ask beforehand what rules/conditions governed how many units there were on the field?

yYAK17Uus-0

[Fallschirmjager]

Blobbing shitty units will still work. If you had blobs of units, what was your plan? Attrition? That still works.

[ScAvenger001]

So basically you still could've bought modern equipment at the same price as anyone else, and you could've bought the Leopard 2A4 (which can compete just fine with modern MBTs, we tested it) instead of shitty T-72s at half the price everyone else would have to pay for them? Doesn't sound broken to me; just sounds like you got crappy equipment without much thought.

Not being able to reinforce is pretty dumb though. Good thing it doesn't matter when your division gets completely vaporized :cool: Possibly you didn't see that -20% to unit quality that applies to all units, whether top of the line tanks, budget price tanks, or mech infantry?

Okay, so this is what I'm getting out of this discussion: certain players built their entire military biased towards quantity rather than quality and didn't ask beforehand what rules/conditions governed how many units there were on the field?

Are you saying you asked about that? I can't speak for anyone else, but I sort of assumed that if I sent five divisions into a battle, they would all participate rather than lining up to be shot one at a time.

[BAS]

So basically you still could've bought modern equipment at the same price as anyone else, and you could've bought the Leopard 2A4 (which can compete just fine with modern MBTs, we tested it) instead of shitty T-72s at half the price everyone else would have to pay for them? Doesn't sound broken to me; just sounds like you got crappy equipment without much thought.

Not being able to reinforce is pretty dumb though. Good thing it doesn't matter when your division gets completely vaporized :cool:

Without giving anything away I did have modern equipment but it got annihlated due to the aforementioned disadvantages (partly the -20% quality but mostly the fact that it didnt have my blob to support it until after the quality stuff got wiped out.)


Truthfully I did not want to switch government types, it looks like im being a puss but the way communism was set up for this game, it would have been dumb to continue on the way I was after Dinko offered myself and commy a free switch.

[GrosPoisson]

Are you saying you asked about that?

Whether I asked or not (I did) is completely irrelevant; if a player's strategy is dependent on overwhelming numbers, they should ask whether or not it's going to work just as a matter of practicality. My force composition was built on general principles that I kept modifying after getting answers to specific questions and after running Steel Panthers MBT to see if my ideas were stupid or not.

assumed

That's unfortunate, but again, if it's not explicitly stated in the rules you're better off asking. I had no idea a certain multinational coalition could amass enough money to anonymously use a nuclear weapon on one of their members' territories and annihilate enemy forces that just so happened to be passing through said territory, but it happened anyways.

[BAS]

I've known about the 2vs2 thing for a while but knowing about it dosent change the fact that it fucks over the Communists pretty bad.

[GrosPoisson]

I've known about the 2vs2 thing for a while but knowing about it dosent change the fact that it fucks over the Communists pretty bad.

Oh, I agree Communists got a shit deal. I'm just addressing the lack of knowledge on the division issue.

[Fallschirmjager]

No DEAL

[Captain Colon]

Possibly you didn't see that -20% to unit quality that applies to all units, whether top of the line tanks, budget price tanks, or mech infantry?
I did.

[Arttemis]

Yeah, I ran in to the problem of not being able to run more than a couple divisions at a time when I was testing stuff too. The only real solution I can see is using MOBHack to set all the unit costs to 1 in a custom OOB (which would take forever).

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, would that be feasible? Certainly, Dinko wouldn't have to do it all... there are several of us with SP:MBT at this point. If we each pick a couple nations, use MOBHack and edit all the unit costs down to 1, and forward them on to Dinko, would that solve the problem? Or is it just more trouble than it's worth?

[fork]

No DEAL

no money, no parts, no deal

[General Bordinko]

its not cost its a unit cap tha SPMBT has.

500 Units 200 Formations I just run two instances at once to get around this cap.

[CaptCommy]

I was really hoping I could play without having to spend a lot of time fucking around in SPMBT and instead just work on general strategies. Apparently that means I shouldn't be playing this game since I don't have the free time to simulate butt tons of fights just to make sure of basic things.

I figured things would work as you would expect them to, and I feel that making the assumption all of the troops I send to fight would all fight at the same time isn't really that ridiculous. Again, apparently I just have no idea how to play. :rolleyes:

Edit: I could also launch a rant about what a terrible fucking thing trap choices are, but I feel like that would only annoy people like Dinko, who I'm really not angry at.

[General Bordinko]

Lechia rolled over Sturm Waffenfabrik in 2-4

US Army = Polish/Fork
W Germany = Fall

[General Bordinko]

Announcement.

Due to balance issues I will be allowing BAS and Commy to change government types this turn.

I will be allowing everyone to do the same THIS TURN ONLY. If you wish to do so let me know now.

So that I can get this week complete with the changes.

[GrosPoisson]

I figured things would work as you would expect them to, and I feel that making the assumption all of the troops I send to fight would all fight at the same time isn't really that ridiculous. Again, apparently I just have no idea how to play. :rolleyes:

It's not ridiculous, but seeing as you're probably spending more time writing these posts than it would take to send a PM asking these sorts of questions, I don't know what to tell you.

[MatthewMarchand]

You could have had Leopard 2A4s or M1s, and you chose T72s and BMPs.

You got what you deserved.

[Captain Colon]

I was really hoping I could play without having to spend a lot of time fucking around in SPMBT and instead just work on general strategies. Apparently that means I shouldn't be playing this game since I don't have the free time to simulate butt tons of fights just to make sure of basic things.

I figured things would work as you would expect them to...
So you expected T-72s and APCs to do anything but die against any tank made in the past 20 years? I think it's a "basic thing" that outdated hardware isn't competitive.

The most lopsided achievement of the M1A2s was the destruction of seven T-72 Lion of Babylon tanks in a point-blank skirmish (less than 50 yards (46 m)) near Mahmoudiyah, about 18 miles (29 km) south of Baghdad, with no losses for the American side.[14]

...

Many Abrams (unrecoverable due to loss of mobility or other circumstances) were destroyed by friendly forces to prevent their capture, usually by other Abrams, who often found them very difficult to destroy despite their firepower.
During the 2003 invasion of Iraq the Challenger 2 tanks operating in the Gulf suffered no total losses to enemy fire. In one engagement a Challenger took 14 hits from rocket propelled grenades and from one MILAN anti tank missile.
“The Taliban have been engaged with some of the new Leopard II tanks in several ambushes” and that as a result the Taliban “learned some very harsh lessons” and lost the battle in question “very quickly and very violently.”

hurrrrrrrrrrrr

I was going to switch to communism to troll and show how it isn't bad but I don't feel like redoing my military.

[BAS]

If your going to go arbitrarily copypasting wikipedia

Monkey model was the unofficial designation given by the Soviet Military to versions military equipment (armored vehicles, airplanes, missiles) of significantly inferior capability to the original designs and intended only for export.

The monkey model was exported with the same or a similar designation as the original Soviet design but in fact it lacked many of the advanced or expensive features of the original.

Performance and capabilities of monkey model equipment were so degraded from the original as not to be in any way representative of the original design capabilities.

The fact that most Soviet-designed tanks and aircraft engaged by western forces during the last decades were actually monkey models must be kept in mind when trying to assess the capabilities of real Soviet-era equipment versus those of contemporary western designs.

A good example of this is the dismal performance of Iraqi T-72 models during the Gulf War and the 2003 Invasion of Iraq. Iraqi T-72 probably failed to destroy a single M1 tank. On the other hand experts believe that the T-72's 125 mm 2A46 main gun is capable of destroying any modern main battle tank in the world today. This discrepancy can be explained by the fact that the Iraqi operated a mix of monkey models and their own locally produced version, the Lion of Babylon tank, and used substandard ammunition (it has been claimed that in some cases even training ammunition was used) for their guns.

According to Sewell (1998), Russian T-72s are built of materials superior to those of the eight export models, and T-72A tanks in Chechnya were more survivable than the T-72M and T-72M1 tanks which were easily destroyed by modern US and UK tanks in Iraq.

hurrrp a durrp

[General Bordinko]

You did not have monkey models. You had home grown Soviet Russia T-72B's

[MatthewMarchand]

You did not have monkey models. You had home grown Soviet Russia T-72B's

Which still suck.

[BAS]

You did not have monkey models. You had home grown Soviet Russia T-72B's

exactly my point.

[General Bordinko]

Lets keep this from getting out of hand please.

[Captain Colon]

If you wanted to stay RPfag Russian, you could've also gotten T-80s, which for game purposes is superior to the T-72 in every way...better fire control, better armor, etc. All the IRL problems with the T-80s reliability and poor range aren't accounted for in the game.

Or, if you're going to buy tanks that are gonna die in one hit (the West have known about the late-model T-72's ERA system since the collapse of the USSR if not earlier, and the US M829A2 round was designed specifically to defeat it...that variant went into service in 1993), then at least make sure that THEY can actually kill stuff by buying the versions that can fire ATGMs. That's what Fallschirm did, and that's why his Spruts killed all your crappy T-72s in one shot.

exactly my point.
Your point is kind of invalidated by the fact that everyone with T-72s is getting stomped.

[GrosPoisson]

I was curious to see what would happen with slightly better T-72s versus M1A1(HA)s.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v149/GrosPoisson/T-72BMvsM1A1HA.png

Troop quality for Russians set to 80 and set to 100 for US Army, meeting engagement, flat terrain.

3:1 kill to death ratio for T-72BMs that can fire the 9M119 Refleks anti-tank missile. Cost of the T-72BM is 37 vs. the T-72B which costs 31. M1A1(HA)s cost 41. Factoring in the 55% discount for 1990 and earlier MBTs, T-72BMs would only cost 17 as opposed to the T-72B which would cost 14. Still a pretty good matchup due to the Refleks ATGMs owning the M1A1(HA)s faces off. Edit: The T-72BMs seem to give a lot of bang for your buck.

I think the real problem was T-72Bs running into more modern equipment, although I don't have the particulars of that. The incident at Fall's airfield looks like Russian tanks and infantry vs. Canadian paratroopers with modern AT weaponry and assorted APCs and tanks (again unknown).

[General Bordinko]

Week Five starts Saturday Night at 8

[Polish Hill]

Lechian President Shows Confidence in War With Sturm


February, 2012 Undisclosed, Lechia - From the Orzeł One the President seemed confident that the combination of superior equipment, troops, and allies had meant the tide of the war with Sturm Waffenfabrik had turned. Reluctant to call the conflict a foregone conclusion he seemed pleased with the resiliency of his troops.

When pressed about the conflict in Kvaltian his message seemed mixed. The president expressed regret that he could not help his close ally more quickly, but pledged assistance as soon as the opportunity was available.

President Polish proceeded to condemn any nation or alliance that would utilize nuclear weapons. He also quickly expressed support for Deimos and vowed the border with Phobos would be closely watched.

-Lechia News Network

8596

[CaptCommy]

Kvaltia Undergoes Revolutionary Change

Tanzervisnati: Kvaltia had it's first election in it's history this year, to the happiness and joy of all of it's citizens.

As a long standing communist nation, it's people had always secretly wished for change, but were too afraid to speak up. Much to everyone's surprise, Grand Chancellor Tanzer the First decided that he would give the people what they wanted. One week ago he officially announced that elections would be held in the capital to decide the next Grand Chancellor and ruler of the country.

People were overjoyed and flocked to the voting booths to support this new measure. Of course, for the safety and stability of the country, no other candidates were allowed on the ballot. Tanzer promised that this was only a temporary measure and that future ballots would be more open to all.

In a landslide victory, Tanzer was re-elected for his twenty year term, gathering over 130% of the vote.

This still counts as a democracy, right? :lincoln:

[Captain Colon]

yes, but it doesn't really count as a revolution :huh:

[Fallschirmjager]

my shit is getting so fucked up lol. I love playing games when it's a struggle :)

because i'm not a pussy like everyone else.

and by everyone else i mean commy and bas

[CaptCommy]

my shit is getting so fucked up lol. I love playing games when it's a struggle :)

because i'm not a pussy like everyone else.

and by everyone else i mean commy and bas

Hey, I've got no problems with a good opponent. All my whining has been about the system, which frustrates me only because I spend too much time in my life designing and thinking about game systems and balance and shit.

Besides, it's not like Colon lost his grip on my balls.

Edit: Fixed above post to appease that fat bastard though.

[Captain Colon]

hey you're the fat one here

[MatthewMarchand]

Who will let me grip their balls?

[Fallschirmjager]

you can grip them with your tounge.


Commy, it's not you assraping me, it's everyone else.

[BAS]

way to invade someone in an alliance

[Fallschirmjager]

well it makes the game more fun than being a turtling diplomacy fag. NOW THE GAME IS INTERESTING STOP BEING SUCH A BABBY

[BAS]

im not the baby, you're the one with your nuts in a salad shooter

I love you :kak:

[MatthewMarchand]

well it makes the game more fun than being a turtling diplomacy fag. NOW THE GAME IS INTERESTING STOP BEING SUCH A BABBY

They don't realize you have allies?

[Polish Hill]

IRON, we need to have a meeting I have some fresh intel I gathered from reading Matt's post.

:o

[MatthewMarchand]

Olololol i r troll

-Sir Allistair Trollington III
Chief Minister
Ministry of Fuckery
Guderian

[CaptCommy]

you can grip them with your tounge.


Commy, it's not you assraping me, it's everyone else.

When did I say my dick got anywhere near your ass?:huh:

[Fallschirmjager]

it didnt because i totally owned your faggot troops

[CaptCommy]

I agree and don't understand what we're arguing about.

[Fallschirmjager]

me neither you want to make out

[CaptCommy]

only if we can sword fight at the same time

with our penises

[Fallschirmjager]

is there another kind of sword fighting that i dont know about or something. of course we can, duh

[General Bordinko]

There will be a deadline of 8PM EST tonight. You cannot submit your military after this time.

[General Bordinko]

Twas a close battle but Deimos held the airfield.

Rhodesia - Deimos
Canada - Matt

[MatthewMarchand]

3 Senior Officers Shot For Treason
Guderian, Totenkopf

3 Generals were tried, convicted, and shot for treason this evening as a result of the bungling of the first major offensive by our forces. Army Generals von Haeften and Olbricht were both shot for poor planing that directly led to excessive losses on our soldiers. Air Force General von Witzleben was also shot, for his bungling of air power, and not having the available assets to provide close air support. General Meyer, chief of staff, reassured the media and the public that was only a minor setback, and not the start of a Totenkopf Vietnam.

[GrosPoisson]

Grosnya Expresses Concern Over Deimos-Phobos Conflict
Big Fish News (BFN) - 8 hours ago

United Nations Headquarters, New York City, USA - Secretary of State Filip Lampreyovich was among the representatives participating in a UN meeting today over the recent fighting between the nations of Deimos and Phobos.

"The nation of Grosnya would like to reaffirm its stance of supporting the democratically-elected government of Deimos in their hour of need. Recent developments have raised concerns whether our current contributions have been enough, but as there has been little support coming from Deimos' neighbors and the international community as a whole, we would like to point out the hypocrisy of those questioning our aid to Deimos. The Grosnyan economy has done well for itself in recent years, but we can only do so much, given our size."

A brief scuffle followed as a representative from the Totenkopf delegation stood up to allegedly shout "That's what she said," and was forcefully escorted out of the meeting hall by UN security staff to a chorus of disapproving murmuring, scattered whistling and jeering.

Deimos, a democratic nation, has come under attack from its authoritarian neighbor to the east, Phobos. The situation has been further complicated by the entry of the Totenkopf forces, seemingly on the side of Phobos. Totenkopf forces were routed as they attempted to take an airfield, but it is likely the fighting will not end there.

BFN reporters caught up with General Nikolas Marlinoff during one of his regular training reviews at the Grosnyan National Defense School. "Deimos' military forces aren't exactly what you would call top of the line," General Marlinoff commented. "It's a bunch of guys wearing short shorts with outdated equipment and a mediocre defense budget. I'm sure they're motivated and they'll do what they can, but they're up against some steep odds here."

General Marlinoff stopped to watch a young aviation cadet and provided us with another example of his trademark colorful outbursts. "For God's sake, son, watch your ------- EKRAN, will you? We're not putting you into an expensive piece of equipment if you're just going to smack the tail end into the ground like that. Fix your ---- unless you feel like being assigned to transport or logistics, you better ------- believe I'll get it done. I don't need to lose birds to casual ----ups so the enemy can claim they shot your ass down and parade you around on their propaganda broadcasts as 'an imperialist aggressor' or some such dumb ----. Unacceptable, cadet, you hear me?"

With the recent military actions against The Imperium, it comes as little surprise why the Grosnyan defense forces are on edge, as another democracy finds itself under attack by a fascist government. Although they refused to go on record, other senior Grosnyan military officers expressed doubts on being able to help Deimos' government in any meaningful way. -BFN

[Fallschirmjager]

Sturm holds on.

StWNN (Sturm Waffenfabrik National News)


A speech from Fallschirmjager- "Brave citizens of our great nation; you have nothing to fear from our worthless, poorly equipped and unmotivated enemies. Even after being attacked ruthlessly for defending ourselves against impending aggression, we hold! They shall not step foot in our cities, they shall not take our food... and when our glorious victory comes, you'll all get a free steak dinner at the Outback in Ausgefullt! The one that's on 6th and Center, you know? What the ---- why is my ----ing monitor turning yellow? Smith, get me..."

Now to our local reporter in Ausgefullt, Heinz Kettenkrad.

"Spoken like a true leader. He leads us all to glorious victory and a grand future. Hopefully the steak dinner wasn't a joke, because we're all suffering from rationed food. With our lines collapsing, and money losing value, food is short... "

(Being escorted off camera by two Secret Police agents armed with submachine guns.)

That's it for today ladies and gentlemen, more on the eastern front at 9!

[FlamingPotato]

Global Tactical Solutions Announces Massive Sale For Charity!

This week, GTS has vowed for a one week sale, with all of the profits going towards a planned fund to fight childhood bi-undulating thyroidal terminal hemorrhagic unified rectal transmission, or BUTTHURT. GTS vows to put a stop to BUTTHURT and will match and contract prices with a dinko for dinko matching grant. All prices have been cut by half, and some are expected to drop down to perhaps 75% off! Experts agree representatives from the nations of Aries should keep an eye on the GTS contracting bulletin for daily deals as well.

[General Bordinko]

Silent day as United Nations take a recess

It was a quiet day at the United Nations today. As many leaders just took the day off.

"It's nice" One unnamed leader said "I did a little work, saw my dad, spent the day with the pregnant wife. It was fun, real fun. We had a good chicken dinner and watched some Jeopardy."

We expect to have normal activity resume tomorrow.

[Captain Colon]

no wonder the un is useless

[MatthewMarchand]

no wonder the un is useless

It is just like the real UN, they do nothing!

[ScAvenger001]

Yes, I admire Dinko's commitment to realistic gameplay. It's like I'm really a politician!

Now where'd those pretty little interns go...

[CapnAsshat]

Not really, they give terrorists something to bomb

[MatthewMarchand]

Not really, they give terrorists something to bomb

And African warlords supplies to steal.

[General Bordinko]

Jesus Christ wow. Biggest battle by far.

IRON = ScAv (GB), BAS (Russia)
Val/Fall/Reich/Noblax = Canada

Val/Fall/Reich/Noblax hold the airfield

[General Bordinko]

More combat shots

[Captain Colon]

Surprised they only lost 3 helos...I'm guessing the AI decided to just charge all my avengers into a platoon of T-72s :huh:

[SWATJester_os]

Depending how good the game is about properly modelling the helos, Avengers may not be effective enough, especially against modern helicopters. I don't know if the game can simulate distributed spotting/targetting from things like Kiowa Warriors or late model Apaches with longbow systems, but if it can Avengers should be significantly less helpful.

[General Bordinko]

Battle for Mastovia 5

W Germany = Fall
USA = Polish Hill/Fork

I took some cool screenshots yo.

Fall still holds the capitol.

[General Bordinko]

Depending how good the game is about properly modelling the helos, Avengers may not be effective enough, especially against modern helicopters. I don't know if the game can simulate distributed spotting/targetting from things like Kiowa Warriors or late model Apaches with longbow systems, but if it can Avengers should be significantly less helpful.

It does. If a spotter is in radio contact it can direct weapons JSTARS style.

[SWATJester_os]

Yeah, consider that the helos will be using terrain as cover, and firing at range, while the avengers will probably not be in .50 range, and stingers aren't the most effective weapons platform (and the helos have countermeasures too)

[Captain Colon]

well there's still the brigade and a half of patriots, god knows what happened to them

[FlamingPotato]

Basically swat is saying the best AA for choppers is tanks.

[Captain Colon]

i'm using all usmc kit so i can't get clones of LV as gunners for all my tanks so that they have anti-air capability

[MatthewMarchand]

Dat shilka